Life is all about Reinventing oneself

I was reading an article in the newspaper few days back where it was written that Life is all about constantly inventing yourself. I pondered for a minute to think what have I invented in me. What is it that I have found a knack. To that my mind replied that you had a passion for writing and reading and yes not to forget your singing.

As I recollected my life events I found music is a real passion nowadays which I would always love to go back whenever time permits. I started my training at the age of 4. I left it midway due to enormous pressure on studies. I restarted it again after marriage. Those were the days when my mother used to scold me for not practicing enough. And I was too reluctant to follow. And now even if I am too tired the urge inside me compels me to sit atleast 15-20 minutes and practice. The urge becomes more when I hear soothing classical based songs and think that I can sing it too if I give the effort.But yes things are not easy nowadays. At a young age the voice was powerful enough as it was taking its shape. Now I have to put a lot of effort to sing flawlessly. No matter how much I try there are bound to be flaws. Still I dont lose hope. A song sung in a satisfied manner gives me much pleasure and calmness than anything else. Its just a feeling that the voice is afterall not lost. Somewhere it gives me hope to sing confidently in front of people. Though I have most of the time received praises for my singing, its still my inner feeling which is too a perfectionist demands a  better voice every time. Its just like my own challenge to myself in order to be a better me and nourish the God gifted skill.

If Life is all about reinventing ourselves we can always follow a different path or traverse a path never taken or less travelled to discover a new and better oneself.

World Toilet Day 19th November

To start with this topic the first thing that comes to my mind is Vidya Balan with her famous dialogue in her commercial add "Jaha soch waha shouchalaya". Indeed we really cant wait for a cleaner sanitation because using improper ways of sanitation will only attract germs and nothing else.
I personally believe that government should take active part in building pay and use toilets across the cities and remote areas and make it a mandate for every individual to use a proper sanitation system.

I remember my uncle who is a doctor speaking to me once about his patients who complain of having tapeworm in their intestine. He said the main reason is doing sanitation in fields. They even attract germs responsible for urinal infections. Now it should be thorough mass awareness when the people belonging to rural areas would take it seriously. And obviously it has to be made mandatory to save people from frequent unhygienic sanitation.

I remember travelling to Southern India where I found almost all the public toilets were clean and well maintained. Whereas the same in Northern India are less in compare. If we start employing people in these areas and make all the public toilets to be Pay and Use we can ensure better services to people.

Lets make awareness that a proper and cleaner sanitation is required and is a right for every individual and lets save thousands of lives of those who die with the infections caused by lack of it.

We all have best friends who are no longer close

It was one of the chilly winter days when I was rubbing my eyes and drinking coffee while sitting at my desk in office thinking hard how to complete the list of work on time, when the phone sounded the arrival of a whatsapp message.

"Hey did you see Nisha's wedding gift from her parents?" asked by a childhood friend whom I considered to be my bestest pal when I was at school. Time has changed our relation. Yes we are still friends but we seldom speak leave alone hanging out together.

"Nope, I did not" I gave an honest reply. "Her parents have gifted her a car for her wedding" she typed back. I thought whats d big deal . In Indian marriages these are common. I replied "Oh really, thats cool. My parents cant afford it so I didnt get one and I myself cant afford it too :) "

I realised I might be very poor at joking when she typed "Its not about what our parents can or cant afford. Even if they can I wouldnt have let me gift me one". It stuck me now that my dear friend is jealous of Nisha just because her parents are spending a lot in her wedding. My mind took me back to my school days when she was equally jealous of me scoring higher than her. I now wonder how much simple and silly was I to still continue the friendship with her. I smiled and replied "Thats your perception dear. If Nisha s happy then what else do we need? Her happiness only counts isnt it and marriages should make one happy not gloomy :)"

Probably my friend didnt like my philosophy as I denied with her. She replied a one line next and we ended the conversation. As mentioned by Vinita Dawra in one of her articles in the Sunday TOI, we tend to remember few things suddenly out of the blue. Here also amidst my pile of office work,meetings etc did her messages reminded me of her behavior back in school which was the chief reason as to why we are not bonded now.

Returning home as I sat surfing facebook I came across a random post "Please like if you have friends who are no longer your best friends". I pondered for a while that like me many people go through the same thing. I loved my best friend so much that I never thought of being jealous of her even when in one of the job interviews I got dis selected and she got it instead. Now I realize that friendship levels should be considered with a lot of seriousness just to avoid oneself from being hurt by the indifference and jealously of the others.

Impact of TV Serials

Television serials or daily soaps was an important part of my life since childhood. On those days cable connection was costly and most of the houses had only doordarshan. My brother and I used to see many of the cartoon films like "The Jungle Book" or any fairy tales and it was a must during our breakfast. We didnt mind sitting in front of the TV with our breakfast plate.

So much was our addiction that even on a cousin's wedding where everyone was busy with some or other work we little ones went to their neighbor's house  to watch "Chandrakanta".

As and when I grew up tv serials was an integral part of everyday's life. The serials like "Kutumb" or "Kyunki Saas bhi kabhi Bahu thi" was being watched by everyone in the house. I used to be anxious of what will happen the next day and that was a topic of discussion in school. Like every teenager our minds used to recreate those romantic scenes with some of our crushes. :)  Nevertheless the actors were our hearthrobs.

Later on as I moved to a college hostel with no TV , I lost interest in watching serials anymore. Nowadays mostly the serials consists of dramas of jealousy,treachery etc. So much is their impact that one day my father scolded me by saying you are acting like one of the negative characters of a serial. I couldnt help smiling. And not only that the serials are a great topic of discussion among the olders. 

Coming to the topic of one particular serial that I liked most was "Hum Panchi Ek Daal ke" aired on Doordarshan in the early 90's. Actually there are more than one. How can I forget " I dream of Jeanie" aired on Sony and "Sarabhai vs Sarabhai" on Star Plus. 

"Hum Panchi Ek Daal ke" was a story of different families living in a chawl who sometimes fight with each other but are always by each other's side in time of need. I dont remember too much of that serial as I was merely a kid by then. But it gave a great pleasure watching that serial.

"I dream of Jeanie" was our must watch. I was at 4th or 5th standard when this serial was aired. It was soooo funny story about a NASA astronaut and his jeanie who always ends up doing stupid things leaving his Manjor Nelson in trouble. It was a treat to our eyes and soul on those days.

"Sarabhai vs Sarabhai" was and even is one of my favourite serial not only because of its content but also because of its dialogues and acting. The dialogues were funny and witty enough to make you laugh and forget your tensions/problems and not to mention the superb acting of both Satish Shah and Ratna Pathak.

Unlike the ghar ghar ki kahani type daily soaps which contains too many negative characters and which try to portray that the lead roles can do anything and can solve any problem. You name them they solve them. I am not ready to understand that anyone in the real world does posses this great ability hence I quickly move to another channel.

Happiness sometimes comes in unexpected ways

It was 6:35 a.m , Friday morning. The alarm clock rang and I woke up with a start. So its finally another day and I will have to go to office. Why cant they give a optional holiday on Fridays? With my body reluctant to move and my eyes wanting to be closed again , I literally dragged myself out of the bed.

8:05 a.m : I am sitting in the bus which has been parked near a petrol pump and will leave in another 10 minutes. I called up my parents. As I disconnected the call, I could hear some hummings. I was feeling too tired after so much office stress but somehow the musical tone had some magical effects to my ears. I saw 2 blind girls were sitting on a bench by a shop and were practicing songs they are about to sing on stage. There were other ladies to guide them, which made me realize that they are from some ashram or home for disabled children.

They sang  beautifully enough to take away all my tiredness in few seconds. I was amazed that God might not have given them vision but has provided them with beautiful voice.

In the meantime another boy of age around 18-19 years was seeing playing with small children. He was mentally challenged. One of the lady who was the group leader, asked him to sit down and sing one song just for the time being their car comes to pick them up for the venue. He silently obeyed and started singing a song on his own. Nobody was interested in what he was singing. But I was listening closely and with full attention how gifted he was in the matter of music. I dont know whether they get any music training or not but its the God's gifted voice with which they continue to sing on their own without being conscious whether they are singing good or bad, whether it is "Surila" or "Besura" , they just sing with their heart and soul oblivious to the world where they know they are treated as "Disabled", treated with sympathy denying many of the human rights.

The scene filled my mind with happiness and realization that even with blindness  or mental challenges, nothing stops them to move on in life. We have so much stress, tension , work and family pressure which keeps us on our toes right from the time we wake up till we hot the bed again. But life is much more than that. 

Some thoughts on women empowerment

A lot is being spoken nowadays about Women empowerment. I would share some of my real life scenarios to elaborate on my thought about the topic.

Scenario 1: One day a colleague was complaining about his health. We started discussing about it and as the discussion progressed he told me that some people in his apartment has put into his wife's head the idea of taking up a job. She instantly found it to be worth and informed her husband to help her in finding a suitable job as she was getting bored of being just a house -wife. But her husband was against the idea as to him "agar woh job karegi to ghar mein khana kaun banayega?" He needs his wife to get up at 5 a.m and cook for him all that he loves to eat and also do the household chores. He doesnt want her to work lest she becomes more smarter than him. Her wife is non-demanding and he thinks himself to be Parameswar who has the authority to scold, abuse or even beat his wife.

Scenario 2: Another colleague added to this point. He wants his wife to be working and never ever leave the job just because he is afraid he cannot meet up the family expenses. His wife will have to contribute in everything he does starting from family expenses and should take care of her own needs. He is not ready to pay her shopping bills, And her wife should be contributing if he buys something for both of them.

Scenario 3:  The discussion continued with another colleague informing that her in-laws demanded her salary to be deposited to her husband's account. They asked her how much savings does she have and what all does she do with those money. And definitely she being the " badi bahu" , should wear saree to office, would never wear western and also is expected to cook for them 3 times a day. Even when she was carrying her child her in-laws insisted that she travel all the way from her maternal house to their house. And the moment she reached, her mother-in-law asked her to prepare tea for the whole family knowing pretty well that she is in her ultimate stage of pregnancy.

All the above scenarios let me ponder about the plight of a woman. To me a woman needs equality and freedom to choose her life. She is not a maid servant who would silently work for her husband's happiness and will satisfy all his needs, someone who would cook all the time, does her job and deposits the entire salary to her husband's account. WHY? Why does men think their better halves to be someone with a lot of sacrificing capabilty?  Why should a woman be forced to work even if she doesnt want to work? If men can pretend to be householder then why should they not take care of their wives basic needs? Even today many of the people dont like their daughters to wear jeans. They believe in getting them married once they pass college. They dont want them to study further or work just in fear of not getting a decent groom.

Now again my question is why should we demand anything less than equality?  Why should not a women be respected for her vital duties? We need empowerment. People should be aware that their daughters are no less than their son. A woman should be respected for her different roles, as a daughter, as a sister, as a wife, as a daughter-in-law, as an executive or as a mother. Starting from getting up early and handle all her roles is what makes her more powerful than anyone else. Without her it will be a different world to live.

Happiness mantra

The one activity which makes you happy...ummmmm there are loads that makes me happy..ok ok I got it ..the one activity which gives you maximum happiness.. This topic reminds me of a senior of mine who few day back told me to write a single but too meaningful question for his training deck, just when I was planning to leave. I gave a weak smile, enough to convey him that I am in no mood to do that when my office time is over. But he insisted "please 1 question,that is what I am asking" as if he thinks himself to be Shahrukh Khan promoting KBC with "ek aisa sawal jo zindagi badal de." And as if I am a great question maker in his eyes(only for saying, just not to let me go early.)

Now coming back to the topic. The one activity that gives you maximum happiness. Well its when I am back after office and stay quietly in my room either relaxing or reading, or even singing ,that is exactly when I find myself to be truly happy. With so many stress in life from various aspect starting from your manager not thinking you to be productive enough even after you spend overtime in office delivering his wishes as your supposed work allocation,to your father-in-law screaming when you return just to complain about something which either me or my husband is not following or to the heavy traffic that makes your 1 hour journey as long as 2 and 1/2 hour..stress has different shape and form for everyone. It will metamorphose but wont ever go. 

The best way to deal with stressful life is to take sometime for yourself. I happily blog if I can think of a good topic. But the days when I dont get my free time is when I am over stressed. Even after returning home if you find yourself engaged in some tedious jobs thats when all my energy drains out. And needless to say that first thing that comes to my mind the next day the alarm clock rings is "I will be OOO (Out of office) today."

I 'dislike' your post

There was a demand of facebook to indroduce a 'dislike' button and that was brought forward to Mark Zuckerberg when he hosted the facebook Q&A in a townhall.

The debate started like "It is our fundamental right to dislike something as much as we like anything." True. It is fundamental right. But consider a situation a 20 year old college girl posted her pic in facebook.She got some 70 likes and 10 dislikes. Among the people who disliked it were her own close friends and relatives.Now the impact of these 10 dislikes will be much more than the 70 likes she has got. It will have a negative effect on her. Similar would be the case of any boy or a man to get a dislike in his picture or post.

There are some status updates which we do not like. They are silly enough to be posted on facebook and shared to the world. But again they are very much part of the human emotions. Disliking your status will make you less friendly in true sense, as people seldom like the bitter truth. This will start effecting relationships. Afterall nowadays the social media is the most important way to remain connected with people across the globe.

Mark Zuckerberg suggested that he wants an 'Empathy' button instead of 'Dislike' so that people can empathize more.If a person has posted any status about his loss be it financial,personal or material people can use the 'Empathy' button to make them understand that they are by their side. Definitely here the 'Like' button doesnt work and 'Dislike' button doesnt stand a chance.

It is a fact that Facebook has become much more than social networking site. People's relation depends on the facebook friendlist. Sounds funny but true. Those who delete few from their friendlist is actually deleted from their real friend list.

Thus in my personal opinion though disliking is my fundamental right it should be good if we dont have the 'Dislike' button as it would do more harm than good. I support Mark's decision to introduce the 'Empathy' button instead.

Thats the way of life

There was a little girl who was very sad and gloomy everyday as nothing she wished came true. One day an Angel was flying past when she heard the girl sobbing. Kind-hearted enough the Angel stopped by and asked the girl what has happened. The girl narrated her plight. To that the Angel lovingly said "Life gives you enough opportunities to fulfill every dream of yours.Why not you start working on the things you want.

The girl was adamant."No Angel you make my dreams come true. I dont want this life. I want a different life with different purpose and everything different." The Angel agreed to fulfill one of her wishes.But the girl had a long list , so the Angel agreed to fulfill one wish everyday.

The girl was very happy. She wrote down all her wishes and everyday she waited for a new day to get one more of her wish fulfilled. But slowly slowly she realized that everything she wished didnt bring her happiness, it brought many unhappy consequences. She started feeling unhappy again and slowly became afraid of every new morning. She was now afraid of her own wishes.

Soon she approached the Angel to take back the charm. The Angel asked her "What happened dear? Arent you happy now? You didnt want your previous life, You wanted everything new. Now when you have all of it, you are still complaining?"

The girl cried " Forgive me oh dear Angel. I was happy with my previous life as I got everything there. I could easily fulfill some of my best dreams had I worked hard. With the new life I have had many consequences which I didnt want. My friends left me, my family disbelieved me. I can do with what megre I had in my previous life if I have my family and friends back. I will work hard and I know they will help me whenever I fall down."

The Angel said "Life is a hard teacher my dear. It gives test first and then the lessons. Everybody is not born with the same capability but everybody has the same equal opportunity to make it bigger. The lessons of life will be repeated until and unless learnt. And thus you understand why God never gives you everything you ask for because everything is not needed to make you happy. Go back my child to your previous life and work hard for your dreams to come true. If you have passion for anything you will fight through all the difficulties and obstacles in your way and God Himself will help you move forward."

How easy it is to go away from someone

It was late at night. Ahana was sleeping. She has to wake up early tomorrow for her office. Her phone rings. Its her boyfriend. He usually calls up at this hour lest his mother comes to know about it.

Ahana sprang up on the bed and softly answers the call.
"Hello Ahana, are you sleeping?"
Ahana: "Ya, its almost 1 a.m .What are you doing?"
"Completed my packing, will be leaving tomorrow night."
Ahana: "hmm best of luck dear for your masters and do keep me posted when you reach there."
"All the best to you too Ahana for your future. And I wont be taking my phone with me. It wont work in US"
Ahana: "why are you wishing me.I am not going anywhere?"
"I am wishing for your future. I may not be able to keep in touch with you and this might be my final call."
Ahana: "Dont be stupid. Do mail me atleast when you reach there."
"Ok..Now go to sleep and have a great life ahead."

The phone got disconnected. The next morning Ahana tried a lot of time to call him but the phone went unanswered.

As she laid to her bed at night watching over the clock and thinking when his flight will start and frantically calling him to wish once before he leaves, the phone call still goes unanswered.

Ahana's mom enters her room to find her secretly weeping. She calms her "didnt he call you before departure?" Ahana answered to herself "He has chosen not to call me again mom. It is his choice not to love me anymore. How easy it is for a person to leave without a reason just because he is not liking it anymore."

Book Review: Mrs Funnybones

I read once in an article that a book is almost like your boyfriend. You take it everywhere and dont mind flipping a few pages you get time. And once a book ends you fanatically search for a second one hoping it to be equally interesting.

I was in such a phase when I saw the book launch news of Mrs Funnybones by none other than a Bollywood celebrity Twinkle Khanna. I didnt know she can write but yes read a few reviews that she has an amazing wit and sense of humor. I thought of giving it a try. I bought it in my kindle and started reading it every night before going to bed.

If I have to review the book as a whole in one word then I would say it is not upto the mark. The book has a caption "Mrs FunnyBones : she is somewhat like you and a lot like me". Well its all about Twinkle Khanna and some of her thoughts on day to day activities. Starting from getting up in the morning to retiring at bed she has told some of her life experiences which was somewhat funny and sarcastic. The entire book is not her autobiography completely but a peek to her private world and her lavish lifestyles. It is about how she manages her office and her family even after being such a celebrity.

All in all the book is average read for people who have a hunger for knowing loads. An okay-okay types for those who prefer light read. And definitely a wonderful achievement if you are a Twinkle Khanna fan.

An interview

9 A.M : I woke up startled by the loud ringtone of my cellphone. Its my boss Ashok calling. "Hey Shreya get up yaar. Did you firget that you have to go to the Alipore Jail today?" I horrified at his words, fumbled"Jail? Why? I havent done anything. Is there a policeman standing outside my house? Oh come on Ashok you are handing me over to police for coming late to office?" Ashok roared with laughter " Good suggestion Shreya. Probably I would propose this to be added in out Indian law, in the next article I write for our weekly magazine. Now get up and get ready. You have to interview a jail inmate. I will text you the details." I breathed a sign of relief. Thank God he is not sending me to jail.
Beep beep. Here's his whatsapp message about the details of today's interview:
Name: Sangita Roy
Occupation: Worked in a private firm
Age: 28
Accused of: Cold blooded murder of her husband, who was paralyzed, just for few thousands bucks

My mood went bitter. Come on ! cant I interview some nice personalities? Some rich and famous? This should be my first and last. Next time I will raise a red card if he assigns me with these kind of horrible interviews.

11 A.M: Reached Alipore Jail. Asked permission from the Jail superintendent for the interview. The middle aged man with a pot belly and big mustache scanned my permission letter and allowed me a 30 mins to interview the accused.
11:20 A.M: As I sat on a bench with my paper and pen ready, waiting for some horrible murder accused to be with me, I am surprised to see a very decent looking girl approaching me guarded by a lady constable.
"Hello I am Shreya Banerjee from 'India's Outlook' weekly magazine. I have come to ask you few questions about your case. This will be one of the articles of our upcoming issue."
To this Sangita replied:" Oh, I know about your magazine. I initially worked for my internship there. I was a Mass Communication student. Wanted to be a journalist. But ended up being something else."

I was taken aback. She seems well educated. Then how come she is a murderer. I restrained myself from showing any emotions.

Me:" Well, tell me then how did you end up in Jail."
Sangita: " Because I killed my husband."
Me: "And why is that so?"
Sangita: "Because we live in a country where Euthanasia is not allowed."
Me: "Start from beginning."

Sangita: "I was a Post Graduate student in Mass Communication at a reputed Govt college, aspiring journalist. He was my batch mate. We were not lovers but yes he had falled for me. I knowingly kept him aside prioritizing my career first.We had many political rallies at our college. You know  what govt colleges are like.
In one of the political rallies we students from our dept took a very active part. I was one of the leaders. Despite severe hindrance from my pessimist friend Soham(who later became my husband), I was enthusiatic enough to lead my ideologies against the govt. In that rally police raf was called by the college authorities and they started beating us like anything. I was saved by Soham from getting a massive blow but instead it hit him badly in his head. He felt unconscious and started bleeding. There was chaos all around and students were shoved into police van. In the midst of the chaos and cries I took help of other students and quietly made my way out dragging unconscious Soham. They hurdled me into a taxi and I immediately took him to a hospital. It was after 3 days that Soham gained consciousness. Doctor confirmed me that the impact of the blow was so severe that a part of his brain has been damaged. He will never be able to lead a normal life and will be a vegetable for ever depending on life support system. And now I was being blamed by Soham's parents as well as mine. I decided to marry him. I left college and started working at a private firm. We stayed in a lil rented apartment.
Life started moving but Soham was not happy. He didnt want to live. Everyday he used to cry in pain and wanted to take his life, which I always prevented. One day unknowingly he wrote a letter to the CM seeking permission for euthanasia. The CM's reply was negative as it is against the law. We received a cheque of 10k instead, a very meager amount to continue life.
Soham was getting restless day by day. One day I had to give in to his request. I had to switch off his life support system. And then......"

There was a long pause.

Me:" Why didnt you tell the truth in the court?"
Sanguta smiled :" I told you na. Euthanasia against our judiciary system."

1 P.M: I went back to my office with a heavy heart thinking how to put it as an article so that justice can be done.

Working v/s House Wife

After few hard days at office some of our friends decided to go out for a weekend trip to the hills. It was a welcome change for all of us, a way to escape the stressful life for at least few days. As we were travelling a friend who is a house wife recently told me some of the disadvantages she is facing in order to play her role. Her independence is at stake. She is expected to do all the household chores starting from getting up as early as 5 a.m in the morning and continue to work till she hit the bed to wake up again the next morning. The financial independence is totally lost as her husband is constantly asking the reason for all her expenditures.

The signs, though common for many of our lives yet the question is when she is a full time home maker what makes her separate from any full time employed wife. After all she too puts on hard work in every household things that need to be done, starting from cooking,dusting,washing etc etc etc. Still his husband feels a lil complex when it comes to comparing with other friend's wives. I dont want to delve deep into debate or anything, but in this current situation cant men be more sympathetic towards their partners who are kept on their toes constantly so that he can have a better home to live. Men can shed off the taboo that working women are more superior. There are many who are pathetic at both the places be it office or home. Thus when that friend uttered a question "So what I dont work in an office, does that make me anything less than I ought to be?" I had nothing but silence as an answer.

If life can be associated with a song...

This post is for the Indispire topic. The moment I saw the same I was reminded of an old reality show "Indian Idol" the session number have faded from my mind but it was highly appreciated and talked about.

The judge happened to be Anu Malik, Udit Narayan, Alisha Chinoy and Javed Akhtar. The host Mini Mathur one day asked Javed Akhtar what would be your best song which you can describe yourself or which is quite close to your heart. The well known lyricist instantly sung 2 lines of the song

"Main zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya
Har fikr ko dhuyein mein udata chala gaya"

As I looked at the topic I was reminded of this song. How I would wish to live the life as this song lyrics. But definitely being human with my own shortcomings I never accept every situation easily nor do I release my tensions like a puffs of smoke..Definitely this is one of the goals of my life which I have to work on. I have known people careless enough to leave all their tensions and relax till time gives them a hard kick. Some of them though eventually get their things done without taking tensions. But tension is also a driving force. It keeps us aware of the present and let us decide our future.

Life has not been easy for Mr Dev Anand who struggled to become the most evergreen hero of Bollywood. Neither has it been for Mohammed Rafi who sung this song beautifully and with all his vigor. And definitely not for Javed Akhtar whose lyrics and poetry are beyond simple appreciations.
This song is what everyone wants their life to be. To be tension free, to live with no definite planing for future come whatever .

"Barbadiyon ka sokh manana fizul tha
Barbadiyon ka jashn manata chala gaya"

Once mentioned by a famous personality "hereos can do anything, afterall they are heroes." In real life we are supposed to be practical and fully aware of the everything under the Sun. And it is the unconquered will that our mind longs to conquer is what this song is all about.

I would wish to sing this song as an achievement, when I am old enough to have completed  all the duties before bidding this Earth my farewell.

Few more hours is all I need

One of the discussion topics that happened in a gathering of old school friends after a couple of years, was the statement "I wish I had more than 24 hrs in a day."

To that one friend replied that it might mean more hours at office. But the wish for extra time was purely for personal purpose.

For all the working women out there it takes more than half of the day at office and travelling. You wake up in the morning to go to office. You return at night to go to bed and the routine continues.

What if we could get some extra hours so that we can spend talking with parents who longed for their children to do so. We could devote some time for ourselves to do something that interests us. We could connect with our old friends or relatives staying far away.

But alas things will not be so. We will huddle and try to keep everything in place all at a time,which is impossible. Thus we go on curtailing those important things as they occupy lower position in our priority list.Some days we are too tired to speak to our parents. Weekends also bring loads of pending work. Thus our interest seems to take a backstage. Also with facebook or whatsapp we hardly get any time to chat with old friends. In order to stay fit we compromise some hours of our necessary sleep.
We cannot leave our jobs, nor can we curtail its timings everyday. We curtail our lists of interest.

I make sure that at least before going to bed I would read few pages of books that are pending to be read. I utilize few times reading while I travel to office. Though my eyes starts complaining as they need few more rests I still carry on because thats the only way how I can keep my interest alive. I would occasionally log into blogging sites to see what the others are upto. As the word goes "The more you read , the more you know"  only to realize that the time is limited. If you dont complete your work on time you have to stretch and do it. As it is you are sleep deprived and stretching extra hours means added pressure to your body and mind.

I wish we could stretch on the personal side also, devoting some extra hours in our day to day activities.But we wont get more than 24hrs and everything has to be on time. 

Thank You God

It was a tough day for me. My health was not good. Too much pressure at office. Its just a day when you dont feel like doing anything and nothing seems to be getting better.

I returned home and sat in the serenity of my bedroom recollecting all the major and minor happenings of my life. What I realized is that I cant be more thankful to God than to anyone else.

As I realized God's decision to reprove me for poor marks was a blessing in disguise for I got a wonderful experience of a hostel life and definitely a sure change was brought in my adaptibility enhancing the adjusting nature further.

I realized that nothing lasts forever as no matter how hard I try some great people are bound to leave.

As correctly pointed out by someone God has His own way of making us understand the importance of good. He has created evil so that we can recognize what is good, he has given us hunger so that we can eat, he has created pride so that we know how and why to remain humble.

I have a lot of questions to God when things never go right, we all do --its human nature , but do we stop and realize when we get the answers? Do we stop for a minute and say Thank you to God when He slowly answers and shows us why His decision is always right?

I read somewhere that miracles happens everyday. Not that I believed it at one go. Its not before one day while traveling to office I was feeling too frail and continuously prayed to God to help me out, then I found my bus to reach the office before the scheduled time so that I can at least relax in the office medical room and get an immediate dose of medicine.

Who says prayers are never answered? They always are. You might be too busy to realize when they do happen.

During college days I asked God to give me a covey of good friends with whom I can have the most sensational life. God gave me 1 good friend who eventually turned out to be my best friend. He was there through all my thick and thins, supporting me , comforting me whenever I needed him.

I smiled at myself when my mind went to a flashback and only one thing which I could utter straight from heart is "Thank you God. Thank you sooooo much."

Why did you leave?

"I am sorry Anita but we can no longer be friends as we used to be. Something between us was more than friendship and now that you are marrying someone else I think it will be more accurate step at this moment" with tears in her eyes Anita is reminded of the words of Joy as she stares at an old pic of their friends group which somebody has posted on facebook.

With a smile on her lips she asks a simple question to herself "what have I done to deserve a punishment? Joy never told me he had a liking towards me and I never knew. I chose someone else. But in turn I had to sacrifice such a beautiful friendship. How much I miss our jokes, laughter, hanging out in groups, playing pranks on each other. Why on all earth do I have to suffer for something I have not done?"

Her anguish was further elevated by her mother-in law switching on the television where a Jagjit Singh's ghazal was being played
         "Yahi hota hain to akhir yehi hota kyun hain
           Yahi duniya hain to phir aisi yeh duniya kyun hain"

Some observations

The idea of an Undo button or a Ctrl+Z key as we do in computer, had the same existed in our lives too our lives would have been phenomenal.
 If I ask this question to anyone I know I would receive a ballot of hankering.

How often even I have yearned for an Undo button.

But few days back I came across 2 people who actually unwound their time and have travelled to their youth.

There was a biology teacher in my school whom I admired most for her resplendent teaching. I used to take even private tuition from her. Years later I added her in facebook only to be surprised to find that she had remarried at the age of 50. The groom was a batchmate of her from the same school. He is well settled, manager at some prestigious hotel. I didnt know what went wrong in her last marriage but all I knew was that she loved her only son and always loved to adorn herself like girls half her age. And definitely its facebook again to provide all the nitty gritties.

What amuses me is to find out that the newly wed couple is behaving just like a newly wed in their mid twenties or rather a college teen falling in love. My teacher whom I called aunty lovingly poses with her Valentine's Day gift and declares that boyfriends become more romantic when they turn into husbands. May be to her its veritable but definitely its a topic of debate.

And then the husbands posts the pictures of their outings, dinner at weekends, of her charming lady who is obsessed about posing and of course their selfies.

This strikes me sometimes as I find them a little exaggerating their personal lives. Though I am happy with her getting an Undo button in real sense. She cant undo her past that's true but atleast wont repeat the same in future. Now the question is are these all necessary to showcase in a social media? The usage of facebook to showcase sometime love and sometimes disagreement like the newly wed is too much for other people.

Not to sound judgemental but sometimes its annoying to find your most respected teacher dressed up like girls in twenties and behave childishly. Dont we expect her to be more matured at least in this matter?

As I had said before she has started living her life since beginning with some other man. She clicks selfies and posts them and never fail to oblige the people who comment her as "ravishing" even though when she is not.

My concern is simple. Live your life the way you want it. Life will present some opportunity to rewind but yes it will different from the 1st one. But be a little responsible when it comes to social media. People's perspective changes when they get to find every details about your life. And again I am no philosopher who can say what is right or wrong. I just smile at her pictures and hope she remain happy and smiling for ever.

If I could choose how to die

This post is again for an Indispire topic.

Death is the most painful truth of our lives. Throughout our lifespan we try and wish to have a painless and problem free death. But as the word goes "Man proposes God Disposes" we seldom get to die the way we want.

Somedays back I was discussing with a friend about the film Piku where Amitabh Bacchan tells his daughter not to keep him on ventilator as it is painful . They will stick needles all over your body and would make it terrible for you. He wanted to die in peace. And subsequently the question got asked "how do you wish to die or according to you what is the best way to die?" To that my friend answered "if a person dies doing the thing he loves the most, that is the best way. There cannot be anything more enjoyable death than this."

Long back I read in a newspaper when the famous Steve Irwin died his wife said that she is happy as he has died doing something which he loved. Few days back I saw a facebook post on the mountaineer Malli Mastan Babu an IIM alumnus who died while trying to reach another summit. It made me feel just the same.

So far as dying is concerned I would like a peaceful death while asleep just like Amitabh Bacchan in Piku. He died peacefully with a smile on his face having accomplished all what he wanted. The family members are spared from the problem of taking the patient to hospitals and spend thousands on the treatment. The best way to die is to silently move away and spare the others from the trouble. As it might sound harsh but its absolutely true that a bed ridden person is like more of a burden to any of your family members at whatever age be it. People will be caring for sometime and after that they will get fed up with you. And then  countless prayers will go to God to take you away and relive you from the miseries. And when God finally answers the prayers their faces will be like a long lost battle has finally ended. You are now relieved from the duties.

Birth is painful but followed by happiness. The process is fixed we cant change that. But to die in happiness is what we all look forward to. But again we are no one to decide. We can only hope.

Should we befriend opposite sex?

This post is again for the Indispire topic.

The word friendship doesnt have any limitation that it can be done within same sex,age or religion. Its something beyond any boundaries. Its simple and doesnt need any criteria to fit. However I have seen people with prejudices that they should befriend only in their sex and not with any opposite sex.

If a girl has a lot of male friends its common for her parents to ask "tumhare class mein koi ladkiyan nehi padhti?" Its people's mentality to think that if a girl is befriending a boy then there is something else going on within them. I am sorry but this is the truth even for most of parts of India. I remember a guy saying to me "ek ladki aur ek ladka kabhi dost nehi ban sakte. Agar woh acche dost ban gaye to woh dosti nehi rehti."

I once asked a friend of mine why she is doesnot feel talking to another guy from her state. To that she replied "I am white, he is black so we cant be friends. Our culture doesnt match." Now where does culture comes when it is just to  make friendship? Over the years I have realised that friends with opposite sex are much helpful than that of the same sex. Guys generally dont have any insecurities. They share notes, help friends to reach their home, help in case of problems where as girls are more prone to stay away in the times of need. They will be the last person to help you even during or before exams. But exceptions are always there. As this world is based on give and take policy a female friend is more like to back bite another female friend than a male friend.

As far as the word friendship goes it is never bound to any age,sex,religion,colour,race etc etc. It is purely a sweet relationship between individuals who share their personal thought amongst each other. We should never try to bind it with false prejudices. How happy will you be if your friend is beside you at your greatest time and even at your greatest loss? Be it female or male how will it matter if you can share your feelings easily with that person and dont have to pretend to be someone which you are not?

Should we keep expectations or should we refrain from it?

I was randomly reading few blog posts when I came across one which shook me a little. The author says that each of us are born to live our own life and not to please others or live upto their expectations. He has cited few examples from his own life story and many people have supported his ideas.

Well I am not being judgmental about him or dishonoring him for his ideas-- but the thought made me think has the world become so selfish that we think of only ourselves? In Bhagwad Gita it is mentioned that we should refrain from expectations as expectations leads to trouble- it hurts. But does that mean we will turn selfish? We will not live upto anybody's expectations? There is a friend of mine who believes that he has married for the sake of getting married- just to fulfill his family's constant nagging wish. He doesnt mind if his wife chooses a better job and stays away from him , its fine with him as he wont mind living alone. Definitely the question arises if you had to live alone what was the point in getting married?

Another friend of mine was just like the author mentioned above. He had a girlfriend who loved her dearly but he dumped her for better future. He was not ready for a relationship. Once I asked him why did you in the first place get into a serious relationship? He coolly said " Come on yaar I am in this world to fulfill my dreams and become what I want,  I cant waste my life on her. She will find someone else and probably much better than me."
To this I smiled silently thinking that there hardly will be anybody seriously involved in any relationship if there are more people like you.

We maintain the "Mind your own business" thing at workplaces or places where we dont hold any intimate relationship. But should we say the same thing to our loved ones? To our parents, friends, teachers, students, elders, spouses,children? Should we say to them that we are born to live free and each of us are different individuals with different tastes,choices etc?

Expectations can get you feel less hurt as you would not take it to your heart if things doesnt go well. But there is a difference in being selfish and not keeping expectations. If we dont have people to please or make them happy we would probably end in a lonely world with no one beside our death bed to shed a few drops of tears or take our dead body for cremation and at least remember us when we are not there.

Note: This post is not written to hurt or dishonor anybody. Its just a personal feeling and has got nothing to do with anybody's ideas.

7 things you should follow in order to lead a happy life

Life is short. Live it simple.

As we deal with numerous stresses in our lives starting from the simple to the complex ones, dont we often forget to listen to ourselves? What we want? How we want to live?  Its true life will never be like the way we ling for. But its worth living. In order to be happy we have to listen to ourselves not others.

Happiness comes from within. I have listed few of my personal observations from a lil of my experienced life.

Please feel free to comment your views.

1. Let go the friendship you struggled to keep

There are few people in our lives whom we consider to be a true friend and too precious to lose. However the sad part is many a times they do not reciprocate the same, which leaves us hurt, sulky. No matter how much we forgive their faults and irrational behaviour, they do not think twice if we do the same as them.

Let go those friends. Remember your friendship is too precious for people who dont love you back. Let them be happy in their own life and you move forward with new set of friends. No relationship is worth if it takes only you to do all the struggles.

2. Be self confident

This is the most important thing in your life. People envy those who are self confident. No matter whether you are fat, slim, beautiful,ugly dont give a damm. Nobody can play your role as you can. So stop bothering about anything. Hold your head high and say " Hum kisise kam nehi."

3. Dont let others to affect your mood

This is perhaps the most common thing which we experience day to day. If somebody says something rude to us we get upset. Anything negative by any people around us be it friends, family, colleagues, we end up feeling gloomy,hurt, disappointed,tensed, anxious---the list is never ending. 

You decide how you should behave. Dont let them spoil your mood. You are your best judge. Have faith on yourself.

4. Always keep a filter in your ears

You will always find numerous people always bitching against others. There will be people as well giving you lost of gyans as to how you should behave. Remember to listen to them but filter the words that you want to hear. Do not believe everything you hear, do not follow everything either.

5. Learn to be firm 

To be happy you do sometimes have to be firm and stick to your decision. People abide by them who are more logical and firm rather than those who cant say "no" to the others. Yes, you may not be liked by all but thats definitely not possible . 

6. Expect  less, depend less

I always remembered a friend of mine saying "kabhi kisise kuch expect mat karna" . I believe it till date. I used to depend only on  myself when I needed to go out of my college hostel to buy few things, I depend on myself if I have to eat alone in the cafeteria at the lunch break in office. I have seen people who are extremely dependant on the others and as a result most of the time their work doesnt happen. They wished to be like me, but never had the courage to be so.

7. Do what your heart wishes

Perhaps another most significant thing. Want to buy a nice dress or an expensive watch? Want to eat out ? Want to go holidaying with friends and family? Want to be left alone? Want to write your heart out? Want to shut up those people who irritates you? Want to sing,dance and be crazy? Go ahead, there is nothing stopping you. Dont hold regrets. Thats bad.

Life without Google

This post is written in correspond to Indispire topic.

There is a saying "if you dont do your work , somebody else will."

We do almost all our searchings starting from minute things to very important things in Google. You mane it Google baba has it. Definitely google with its immense products are making our lives very simpler. Not only search engine, the mails, maps, google drive, images are nowadays our everyday source of information.

But what if Google doesnt exist? No, certainly the world wont come to an end. We have numerous other search engines like Bing, Yahoo etc to have our queries answered. Before gmail gained popularity other emails like Yahoo mail, rediff mail were much used. In place of google drive we have dropbox also performing the same function. As far as google maps are concerned there are other sites too that will guide your location and had google maps not been there we would have seriously got some companies to develop it. The google play store houses all the mobile application, games, books etc. But every android or iphone app has a dedicated link for the app download. We have numerous bloggers and book sites to read and write without any issues.

The dependency on Google is because of its compactness. It is a complete package of all our needs. Thus we find it easy and reliable. Had Google not been there some other company would have developed the same. Even at present all those alternatives being present we eye only for Google. We know no other thing than to search in Google.

Thus in  my personal opinion, life wont be at a complete loss without Google. This being said, is not to belittle the famous company but just to point out that with rapidly and vastly developing internet sites we will never be at loss provided we know what to do and where to do.

I am sorry

The five lettered word "S-O-R-R-Y" literally means you are apologizing for a mistake that u have knowingly or unknowingly done. But it is more easy to say than "Mujhe maaf kar do" .

We say sorry even when we do not accept the fault to be ours. As its so small and simple a word.

When I assign a few task to my subordinates and they return doing half of it , they respond like "Oh I am so sorry I didnt understand the requirement clearly" and then get busy with their mobile phones surfing the social media and posting updates like "tired with too much work pressure". Their sorry made me work an extra hour correcting the things they have left.

A couple of months back we went out for a picnic where the manager of the garden-house which we rented, made some deliberate changes to the food menu and on confronting he made a sad face and said sorry. The sorry made us suffer as we could not eat maximum of the menu items.

That day at a public bus I saw a girl pushing an old lady and afterwards left with just a sorry. Her sorry was not enough for the lady as she felt the pain.

A friend of mine told me how deeply she was hurt when her boyfriend broke up with her without any reason and just saying sorry for the action.

Another friend got her marriage cancelled just because the groom has changed his mind at the last moment and left her with only "sorry" .

Day in and day out we continue to hurt people and get away with a simple "sorry" . Isnt it the best way to escape your wrongdoings?

In the film "Zibdage na Milegi Dobara" Hrithik Roshan told Farhan Akhtar "Jab dil se sorry bologe tab main tumhe maaf karunga". Yes the meaning gets fulfilled only when said from the core of your heart. When you are truly apologetic by your behavior no matter how small or big it is.

10 things to do before I die

I really have to scratch my head as to think what are the 10 things I would like to accomplish before I die. Well to be a lil philosophical life is full of uncertainties as to what future will bring. The ball of life will roll and move to different places and situations and with time the needs and wishes will also differ.

1. Fulfil all the duties towards my family
 Now this is quite inevitable is it not. When we receive so much love and support from our family it our duty to return the same. Well I am trying to sound practical not boring.

2. Visit as much places as I can

Well I love travelling and love to explore new places. So before I die I want to make sure I have not missed out the eternal beauties of this world.


3. Hang around with as many friends to make every moment special

Friends make your life worth living. As we all get busy in our day to day chores we often lose contacts with our friends. But with them around every journey seems fun, every party seems memorable. All I want is a long list of friends with whom I can enjoy the moments.

4. To taste as much delicacies as I can

Well I am a great foodie and food is my second love. I thus want to taste as much different dishes as possibles. I dont worry about the calories as long as it is tasty and yummy.

5. To be able to cook very very well

As I said I am a foodie , well I am that good at cooking as I am in eating. Hence it was MUST in my list that I should try my hands out and not only that I should try to excel in this matter. Trust me, there is a lot of joy when people praise of your cooking and love your food so much that their plate is almost clean.

6. To read as much as possible

As the saying goes that a book is a man's best friend and most devoted also , I am an ardent reader and thus would like to gather as many unknown facts and knowledge I can till I leave. Knowledge makes you grow, builds your personality, makes you wiser. I am always attracted to knowledgeable people and thus have a wish to feature in the same list.

7. To become a motivational speaker

We all need motivation in our life dont we. I am not talking about gyans and lectures which people offer in the name of motivation. You ask anybody be it your neighbour or your co workers , everybody can you a full fledged gyan irrespective of their practical experience. At least they have their relatives of friends of friends who have experienced situations like you.

I want to be a real motivational speaker who can at least help others to overcome their problems and help them grow. We dont have time to experience every problems in this world but there are few basic things which we need to focus constantly. There are people whose speakings are interesting enough to listen and motivating enough to shake your core.

8. To climb up as many steps I can in my professional life

Now this is something which is every man/woman's dream. Who said I am an exception? We all love to be important. Yes, with positions comes greater responsibility but definitely it helps us prove our worth, our capabilities. At least after I retire I can look back and say I have done my best.

9. To meet my favourite personalities

The list is long. I would like to each of them and talk about their life, their struggles, their success and failures.

10. To enjoy life in my own style

As everyone says we are busy planning for tomorrow but tomorrow is most unpredictable. You never know whether "Kal ho na Ho" . So I want to live every moment, laugh loudly and never do I want to regret anything. Yes, life will be tough but we can make it worth living.

To conclude I must say the above are merely my wish list. They might get changed due to situation but yes the no 10 will remain thee same.

As rightly said by Rajesh Khanna to Amitabh Bachhan in his film "Anand" "Babumoshai, jab tak zinda hu tab tak mara nehi, jab mar gaya tab saala main hi nehi."

Do you believe in miracles?

"Do you believe that miracles do happen?" asked one of my junior as we were having lunch together. I replied " I do." "Well, what makes you say so?" To that my mind drifted 2 years back on a lazy Sunday when I was asked by the Passport office to report due to some inconvenience in the submitted data. Those were the days when the online application was not in use and we have to manually submit all the details to the passport office. As my last address was mentioned that of my college hostel the police did not verify it when they found that I have passed out and is not residing there currently. Hence I was called at the Passport office.

I remember to be in very poor health that day and was almost unwilling to go. My father was furious at me and hence after a lot of scoldings I had to give in and all the time asking my mental strength to offer me some help. As the car neared the office , we got down near a church as there were no proper parking lot. I must admit I am quite fond of churches since childhood. I requested dad to stay outside for 5 mins while I pay a visit to God's home. As I entered I was given a Bible and a paper saying that there are school children present and they will be singing the lines mentioned in the paper. I refused them saying that I am here to pay a quick visit.

As I sat in the benches and looked at the cross my mind started to calm down. Till that time I was in extreme pain and anxiety but slowly my mind became very cool as if there are no pain in this world. I stayed there for more than 5 mins thinking that dad will again be angry. But somehow I didnt feel like going. Eventually I did and the rest of the process happened peacefully. I could stand in the queue for long, went up to the passport officer and had a discussion on what are the corrections needed to be done. There was little I could do to the old application and had to apply a fresh one next year.

I still remember that day as something unusual that happened in that church. I was in such a condition that I could hardly stand in the queue for an hour but the way things disappeared  made me an ardent believer of God. It was as if God's own hand has come to ease all my sufferings.

Another instance I would like to mention is that in college days I was short of true friends. People were selfish, ego centric etc etc . I prayed to God so that I can befriend all of them and become their good friends but God answered in a different way. I got a close friend in the form of an old school friend with whom I never talked while in school. It was through Orkut and Google talk that we started talking to each other. He was by my side at every ups and downs. He became my best friend. Our friendship lasted till I was posted in Chennai during my in job training days. Once I got posted back to my native, slowly slowly the relationship got sour and he left without any reason.

Sometime later I read an article saying that some people come to your life for a reason. They remain till the time they are needed and then without any fault from your side, they leave you. Its God's way of answering your prayers. When their work is done , they leave . To this I remember the lines of Irfan Khan in than movie "Life of Pi" . The tiger was his only friend and reason to be alive in those grave situations, The moment he reached a safe land the tiger left him.

We do feel the pain when someone so dear leaves us but again I cant but thank the Almighty in His wonderful ways of answering our prayers and constantly looking that we get our through the rough patches in our lives.

Its about our culture

"I dont want my children to be brought up in western culture. I will be back from US once they turn 2 as I want them to be fully Indian not western" said Neeta as we were discussing about her plans of going abroad. I replied "You remind me of Kajol in Kabhi khushi kabhi gham - the way she said "Kash khala aaj hum India mein hote aur mera beta bhi wohi gaane sikhta jise sikh kar main bari hui hu"" and we burst out laughing.

There are many people like Neeta who believe that the Indian culture like respecting your elders, touching their feet etc all matters as a human being. The culture which we Indians boast about is our love and respect for family and friends. Definitely we wont like our children to roam around like a vagabond, smoking , drinking openly, taking drugs abusing people. One might say that it is dependant on the environment they are mixing but again the basic sense of discipline, respect, love comes from the culture they will be brought up in as the word goes "Education begins at home."


Recently the video on India's daughter has been the talk of every social media. To that my opinion is our culture is not where the women are belittled , instead it is about the respect of a woman. We should not restrict our thoughts and ideas to old days and say women are made to do household chores only and boast it as our culture. Indian culture is all about loving and respecting your family and friends. Modernity should be in our thoughts and that should be constructive not destructive. 

Nameplate

Sometime back I asked a friend who was going to be married whether she is going to change her surname or not. To that she replied "Why should I? Am I a nameplate? U take your father's surname and people call you to be his daughter. Then you take your husband's surname and people call you his wife. Then you have a son and people call you his mother. In all this process where is the "I" - why cant I be known by my name? Does it matter if I want to keep my father's surname  or simply dont keep a surname at all? To all of you out here will you think I am a different person if I change my surname? I guess no. I like to be what I am. To the world I would like to be known by my own identity not with that of someone else's."

I asked the same question to another girl. She replied "Well, I might change my surname in social networking sites. It looks different. But please dont ask me to change in the official docs. I will get screwed. I dont have patience to go through the laborious process of changing it in passport, pan card etc etc."

I asked the same thing to few guys . Some of them replied "its her life, I will let her decide. She will be mine thats what matters. Surname doesnt". Some agreed that changing surname in official docs is quite painful.

There are lots of views about a surname change. As it is happening from age old days people cant quite accept it properly at least the elders in the family. To them it is being more modern than is needed.

 I remember a senior of mine once pointed out that there is no law which states that the girl should change her surname. It is being done since ages when women were not considered to be any significant one of the society. They would always have to be associated with a male member's identity be it her father,husband or son. Her life was nothing but a nameplate. But now the days have changed. We should allow a woman to take the final call as to what she want herself to be introduced as. Be it working or non working all woman should have the right to decide her identity. And the society should show respect to her decision.

Can solitude bring peace?

I am a bit confused what solitude can bring as this word has different meanings. When I return from office late in the evening I seek for a solitary place of my own where I can do things and relax in the way I want. After a hard day I dont want to go around and chat with people. I need my own time. It doesnt teaches me anything but at least helps me to relax. It helps me to focus on some areas where I need to work upon.

Solitude again refers to the empty place in life which we store for another person. I have seen people commenting "I am happy to be single". Yes in one way we can be happy as attachment leads to trouble but again do we really want to keep that empty for ever? If that would have been so we would not have stepped out and sought for another love. And again a life without friends is nothing. Definitely we wont like everyone but every individual has some contributions to our lives. We do not feel left out.

Again solitude means to be alone with nobody beside you or to be alone with everyone by your side.

Personally I feel it is better to find at least some time in solitude  in order to ficus where we are heading, in order to know whom to trust and whom not to, in order to know whether our actions have hurt somebody or not. In short entirely for some self realization. Apart from that life in solitude brings sadness,gloominess. Be yourself but be with everyone around you. It will help you to be a better person.

Does everything happens for a reason?

I was intrigued by one of the topics of Indispire #HappensforaReason . I am not sure whether it will be the next Indispire topic but I felt it to be interesting enough to write as my next topic.

When I was a child my father used to say "Whatever happens, happens for good". Being a child I always used to believe it. As I grew up I started question "Does it really happens for a reason?" Probably yes , probably No. There are many things which hurt us, break us and again by the rule of life we learn to overcome. The only consolation we give ourselves is that we have become more matured and experienced. But I always wonder does every bad incident had to happen in order to make us more strong?

After finishing college when I joined a job I found every single senior to be against me. So much so they were in search of one loop hole to penalize me. There were days when I used to cry at the washroom even in the bus while returning home. I had to show tremendous mental pressure everyday when I went to office and worked with those same people. But not everyone who joined with me suffered this. I am just citing an example. I am aware people around me have much bigger problems than I have. My point is just to say that there are always some unnecessary things happening in our lives which was not required. I started to speak less, became quiet so that I couldnt be bullied. I had to change myself in order to adjust. But again after so many years I have known how to fight for my right. If not mastering it , have at least  known the basics.

Long back in a movie whose name I dont remember I found a dialogue "Everything is destined to happen. Whether it is good or bad it will be decided after it actually happens"

Well this is what I believe now that everything is written in destiny. Not everything will happen for good. I have lost many good friends of mine with time. I never leave any of them, they left. I just had to accept.

May be that is why people say " It wont come again is what makes life so sweet"