On a fine morning as I was getting ready for going to office there arose a heated argument with a family member. It was over trivial things which later got sorted but left a scar behind. It had such deep an impact that even today as I remember them, a droplet of tear appears at the corner of my eye.
In the workplace when I get dumb people to supervise who dont understand even after repeated discussions , my angry words brought disappointment and tears to atleast 2 humble beings who were humble enough to cry and admit in front of me. But I said nothing personal. I was strict, maybe rude. That kept me wondering could I have handled it with some empathy? Now when you have a work to be done and all you get are dumb fools do you really care for empathy? May be I could have but at that moment I did not.
But then what is the difference between me and my relative? Both were rude. Both said things which hurt. But what was that hurt more? An opportunity to improve or a baseless statement made at your character without knowing you fully? A flaw pointed out and asked to be worked upon or simply branded as something which is far from truth.
The more irritating are those who out of nowhere disturb your inner peace by blurting out some sarcasm which they should have saved for later.
Can we for a second stop and analyze how would we have felt had we been on the receiver’s side? What defines mannerism, polishness, politeness, well behaved, well educated? A grocery seller sells much more than his competitors just by behaving fantastically. A real estate agent sells more house than others just by his good behavior, gesture, empathy and most important choice of right words. A lot more examples can be cited. But my point remains the same. Choose the right words. Even if it is to rebuke someone stick only to the flaw and don’t go to the character. Words cut deeper than swords. And they leave marks. People might not remain but their words will. And just like an arrow sentences spoken with utmost rudeness can never be taken back no matter how much you apologize later.
