10 things to do before I die

I really have to scratch my head as to think what are the 10 things I would like to accomplish before I die. Well to be a lil philosophical life is full of uncertainties as to what future will bring. The ball of life will roll and move to different places and situations and with time the needs and wishes will also differ.

1. Fulfil all the duties towards my family
 Now this is quite inevitable is it not. When we receive so much love and support from our family it our duty to return the same. Well I am trying to sound practical not boring.

2. Visit as much places as I can

Well I love travelling and love to explore new places. So before I die I want to make sure I have not missed out the eternal beauties of this world.


3. Hang around with as many friends to make every moment special

Friends make your life worth living. As we all get busy in our day to day chores we often lose contacts with our friends. But with them around every journey seems fun, every party seems memorable. All I want is a long list of friends with whom I can enjoy the moments.

4. To taste as much delicacies as I can

Well I am a great foodie and food is my second love. I thus want to taste as much different dishes as possibles. I dont worry about the calories as long as it is tasty and yummy.

5. To be able to cook very very well

As I said I am a foodie , well I am that good at cooking as I am in eating. Hence it was MUST in my list that I should try my hands out and not only that I should try to excel in this matter. Trust me, there is a lot of joy when people praise of your cooking and love your food so much that their plate is almost clean.

6. To read as much as possible

As the saying goes that a book is a man's best friend and most devoted also , I am an ardent reader and thus would like to gather as many unknown facts and knowledge I can till I leave. Knowledge makes you grow, builds your personality, makes you wiser. I am always attracted to knowledgeable people and thus have a wish to feature in the same list.

7. To become a motivational speaker

We all need motivation in our life dont we. I am not talking about gyans and lectures which people offer in the name of motivation. You ask anybody be it your neighbour or your co workers , everybody can you a full fledged gyan irrespective of their practical experience. At least they have their relatives of friends of friends who have experienced situations like you.

I want to be a real motivational speaker who can at least help others to overcome their problems and help them grow. We dont have time to experience every problems in this world but there are few basic things which we need to focus constantly. There are people whose speakings are interesting enough to listen and motivating enough to shake your core.

8. To climb up as many steps I can in my professional life

Now this is something which is every man/woman's dream. Who said I am an exception? We all love to be important. Yes, with positions comes greater responsibility but definitely it helps us prove our worth, our capabilities. At least after I retire I can look back and say I have done my best.

9. To meet my favourite personalities

The list is long. I would like to each of them and talk about their life, their struggles, their success and failures.

10. To enjoy life in my own style

As everyone says we are busy planning for tomorrow but tomorrow is most unpredictable. You never know whether "Kal ho na Ho" . So I want to live every moment, laugh loudly and never do I want to regret anything. Yes, life will be tough but we can make it worth living.

To conclude I must say the above are merely my wish list. They might get changed due to situation but yes the no 10 will remain thee same.

As rightly said by Rajesh Khanna to Amitabh Bachhan in his film "Anand" "Babumoshai, jab tak zinda hu tab tak mara nehi, jab mar gaya tab saala main hi nehi."

Do you believe in miracles?

"Do you believe that miracles do happen?" asked one of my junior as we were having lunch together. I replied " I do." "Well, what makes you say so?" To that my mind drifted 2 years back on a lazy Sunday when I was asked by the Passport office to report due to some inconvenience in the submitted data. Those were the days when the online application was not in use and we have to manually submit all the details to the passport office. As my last address was mentioned that of my college hostel the police did not verify it when they found that I have passed out and is not residing there currently. Hence I was called at the Passport office.

I remember to be in very poor health that day and was almost unwilling to go. My father was furious at me and hence after a lot of scoldings I had to give in and all the time asking my mental strength to offer me some help. As the car neared the office , we got down near a church as there were no proper parking lot. I must admit I am quite fond of churches since childhood. I requested dad to stay outside for 5 mins while I pay a visit to God's home. As I entered I was given a Bible and a paper saying that there are school children present and they will be singing the lines mentioned in the paper. I refused them saying that I am here to pay a quick visit.

As I sat in the benches and looked at the cross my mind started to calm down. Till that time I was in extreme pain and anxiety but slowly my mind became very cool as if there are no pain in this world. I stayed there for more than 5 mins thinking that dad will again be angry. But somehow I didnt feel like going. Eventually I did and the rest of the process happened peacefully. I could stand in the queue for long, went up to the passport officer and had a discussion on what are the corrections needed to be done. There was little I could do to the old application and had to apply a fresh one next year.

I still remember that day as something unusual that happened in that church. I was in such a condition that I could hardly stand in the queue for an hour but the way things disappeared  made me an ardent believer of God. It was as if God's own hand has come to ease all my sufferings.

Another instance I would like to mention is that in college days I was short of true friends. People were selfish, ego centric etc etc . I prayed to God so that I can befriend all of them and become their good friends but God answered in a different way. I got a close friend in the form of an old school friend with whom I never talked while in school. It was through Orkut and Google talk that we started talking to each other. He was by my side at every ups and downs. He became my best friend. Our friendship lasted till I was posted in Chennai during my in job training days. Once I got posted back to my native, slowly slowly the relationship got sour and he left without any reason.

Sometime later I read an article saying that some people come to your life for a reason. They remain till the time they are needed and then without any fault from your side, they leave you. Its God's way of answering your prayers. When their work is done , they leave . To this I remember the lines of Irfan Khan in than movie "Life of Pi" . The tiger was his only friend and reason to be alive in those grave situations, The moment he reached a safe land the tiger left him.

We do feel the pain when someone so dear leaves us but again I cant but thank the Almighty in His wonderful ways of answering our prayers and constantly looking that we get our through the rough patches in our lives.

Its about our culture

"I dont want my children to be brought up in western culture. I will be back from US once they turn 2 as I want them to be fully Indian not western" said Neeta as we were discussing about her plans of going abroad. I replied "You remind me of Kajol in Kabhi khushi kabhi gham - the way she said "Kash khala aaj hum India mein hote aur mera beta bhi wohi gaane sikhta jise sikh kar main bari hui hu"" and we burst out laughing.

There are many people like Neeta who believe that the Indian culture like respecting your elders, touching their feet etc all matters as a human being. The culture which we Indians boast about is our love and respect for family and friends. Definitely we wont like our children to roam around like a vagabond, smoking , drinking openly, taking drugs abusing people. One might say that it is dependant on the environment they are mixing but again the basic sense of discipline, respect, love comes from the culture they will be brought up in as the word goes "Education begins at home."


Recently the video on India's daughter has been the talk of every social media. To that my opinion is our culture is not where the women are belittled , instead it is about the respect of a woman. We should not restrict our thoughts and ideas to old days and say women are made to do household chores only and boast it as our culture. Indian culture is all about loving and respecting your family and friends. Modernity should be in our thoughts and that should be constructive not destructive. 

Nameplate

Sometime back I asked a friend who was going to be married whether she is going to change her surname or not. To that she replied "Why should I? Am I a nameplate? U take your father's surname and people call you to be his daughter. Then you take your husband's surname and people call you his wife. Then you have a son and people call you his mother. In all this process where is the "I" - why cant I be known by my name? Does it matter if I want to keep my father's surname  or simply dont keep a surname at all? To all of you out here will you think I am a different person if I change my surname? I guess no. I like to be what I am. To the world I would like to be known by my own identity not with that of someone else's."

I asked the same question to another girl. She replied "Well, I might change my surname in social networking sites. It looks different. But please dont ask me to change in the official docs. I will get screwed. I dont have patience to go through the laborious process of changing it in passport, pan card etc etc."

I asked the same thing to few guys . Some of them replied "its her life, I will let her decide. She will be mine thats what matters. Surname doesnt". Some agreed that changing surname in official docs is quite painful.

There are lots of views about a surname change. As it is happening from age old days people cant quite accept it properly at least the elders in the family. To them it is being more modern than is needed.

 I remember a senior of mine once pointed out that there is no law which states that the girl should change her surname. It is being done since ages when women were not considered to be any significant one of the society. They would always have to be associated with a male member's identity be it her father,husband or son. Her life was nothing but a nameplate. But now the days have changed. We should allow a woman to take the final call as to what she want herself to be introduced as. Be it working or non working all woman should have the right to decide her identity. And the society should show respect to her decision.

Can solitude bring peace?

I am a bit confused what solitude can bring as this word has different meanings. When I return from office late in the evening I seek for a solitary place of my own where I can do things and relax in the way I want. After a hard day I dont want to go around and chat with people. I need my own time. It doesnt teaches me anything but at least helps me to relax. It helps me to focus on some areas where I need to work upon.

Solitude again refers to the empty place in life which we store for another person. I have seen people commenting "I am happy to be single". Yes in one way we can be happy as attachment leads to trouble but again do we really want to keep that empty for ever? If that would have been so we would not have stepped out and sought for another love. And again a life without friends is nothing. Definitely we wont like everyone but every individual has some contributions to our lives. We do not feel left out.

Again solitude means to be alone with nobody beside you or to be alone with everyone by your side.

Personally I feel it is better to find at least some time in solitude  in order to ficus where we are heading, in order to know whom to trust and whom not to, in order to know whether our actions have hurt somebody or not. In short entirely for some self realization. Apart from that life in solitude brings sadness,gloominess. Be yourself but be with everyone around you. It will help you to be a better person.

Does everything happens for a reason?

I was intrigued by one of the topics of Indispire #HappensforaReason . I am not sure whether it will be the next Indispire topic but I felt it to be interesting enough to write as my next topic.

When I was a child my father used to say "Whatever happens, happens for good". Being a child I always used to believe it. As I grew up I started question "Does it really happens for a reason?" Probably yes , probably No. There are many things which hurt us, break us and again by the rule of life we learn to overcome. The only consolation we give ourselves is that we have become more matured and experienced. But I always wonder does every bad incident had to happen in order to make us more strong?

After finishing college when I joined a job I found every single senior to be against me. So much so they were in search of one loop hole to penalize me. There were days when I used to cry at the washroom even in the bus while returning home. I had to show tremendous mental pressure everyday when I went to office and worked with those same people. But not everyone who joined with me suffered this. I am just citing an example. I am aware people around me have much bigger problems than I have. My point is just to say that there are always some unnecessary things happening in our lives which was not required. I started to speak less, became quiet so that I couldnt be bullied. I had to change myself in order to adjust. But again after so many years I have known how to fight for my right. If not mastering it , have at least  known the basics.

Long back in a movie whose name I dont remember I found a dialogue "Everything is destined to happen. Whether it is good or bad it will be decided after it actually happens"

Well this is what I believe now that everything is written in destiny. Not everything will happen for good. I have lost many good friends of mine with time. I never leave any of them, they left. I just had to accept.

May be that is why people say " It wont come again is what makes life so sweet"

Old forgotten hobbies

Let me take you to my childhood. Like many children I had a weird hobby of letter collecting. Yes its weird. In those days emails were not popular and so was the telephone. People used to communicate via letters. The TV shows asked us to post the suggestions on letters. It was that time when "Superhit Muqabla" was a famous hit music show aired on Doordarshan. I used to see anchors reading out 2-3 letters from a heap of thousands.

Quiet surprisingly I took the idea of collecting letters that were delivered to our home. Every letter starting from invitation cards to personal letters I would keep them with me after they have been read. I specially liked if someone used the writing pad. The beautiful decorative pages amused me.

Then I started collecting local train tickets. Another funny thing. I had a purse and used to keep all the  tickets there.

I even collected marriage invitation cards as I said before. And it came to use when my elder brother was getting married. The writings and designs helped us to choose an appropriate card.

And then at the marriage ceremonies I used to collect the menu cards.

I even got a piggy bank and used to collect 1p, 2p coins which are now obsolete.

Life goes on and I grew up. And ultimately all the foolish habbits took a backstage. As I remember them I find my childhood to be so simple and funny as there was no particular reason as to why I had them.