A day for peace

I was travelling by bus with my whatsapp on and chatting with my teacher about one of her researches she is currently doing on human behavior. The answer that I got from her was full of positive vibes. She did acknowledge problems yet she never stopped making an effort to turn the situation positive.

Back home I was talking to my mother about the various problems that I was dealing with. She gave me an idea to meditate. Now thats something I never considered. As nowadays we have so much to do who would spend rather waste time meditating? I discussed this with my husband. But he insisted that we should at one point of time focus on the positives we have, calm our mind from the raging storm and let peace reign. Meditation can give you that peace.

I was about to retire for the day and just before that I switched on my Kindle as my daily custom. I was going through a book "change your habits, change your life" where the author states that it is always our choices , our limiting minds that restrict our ways to success. I dont want to delve deep into gyans as I find them boring. What I deciphered from it is if we have to dedicate a day to celebrate something lets celebrate happiness,peace and positivity. Lets forget our tensions for a day and concentrate on what we have, count our blessings and free our mind from fear.

I must say I am amazed at how my mother , mother-in-law or my teacher never stops to impart some positivity at the end of every problems so as to keep our focus intact. They may not deal with the situation the same way but they will never fail to look at the positive side too.

So lets meditate for a few minutes in a day, specially when your mind is racing. Just say "Calm down boss, life is not that difficult. This too shall pass."

Forgiven but not forgotten

I was watching the movie "Life of Pie" once more on television where Irfan Khan says at the end "its not the end that hurts but to say goodbye so unceremoniously does". He meant about his tiger friend "Richard Parker" who kept him alive through all the hardships and once he was safe to go back to his own clan did the tiger made his exit without even looking back. He felt betrayed and cried like a baby. The incident was so disappointing that he felt the pain years later while dictating the entire episode to a journalist.

Forgiveness is never easy. We all have to accept the pain and in order to be happy with ourselves do we choose to let go. But what if someone so close to you leaves you without a warning, a goodbye? What if you never get to ask him/her a question "Why did you leave?" I sometimes wonder we have the right to act like how we want but do we not owe anything to others? How cruel it can be if you walk away like this?

In order to forgive the above doing we need a lot of courage but definitely this will never be forgotten. Its not about the ego, the hatred or anything. Its just a question asking if the person had the right to behave like that. The answer will always be No. But the irony is the people who can do this no longer care for what you feel. Yes you must forgive them so that you live a better life. But time and again you will be reminded about the defaulter and way he/she exited from your life. You may mourn at the loss of a friend but its hard to accept that people can be hard hearted enough to not bother.

Love thyself first

The door of Heaven cracked open as I glided inside. There in front of me stood GOD himself.
"Hello Nita. How are you?" he asked. "Where am I?" I countered. " You are about to enter Hell"

"Why so? What have I done?" I  asked
"I kept you in heaven for 22 years. You came out of it willingly. Now its time to visit Hell."
"You must me joking  God as I was in Hell not in Heaven. My parents didnt love me, my boyfriend ditched me , my friends parted ways and you call it a Heaven?"

God smiled and said "Let me show you the picture I had drawn for your future"

And he showed me sitting in a posh office , holding an important position, a loving husband, 2 kids and my parents who are always praying for my well being.

"Now let me show you the picture at your home now"

And I saw my mother inconsolable. My father is silent. My little sister is crying in front of my picture and there is Nitish, my boyfriend happily engaged to another girl saying to his friends "Nita was a failure. She committed suicide as she cannot accept defeat. She has to win."
 To this my best friend Sonal replied "I know her since childhood. She is selfish. She didnt think about her parents."

Tears rolled down my cheek as I turned away. God asked me "So you committed suicide for Nitish who called you a failure. For friends like Sonal,Neha etc who called you selfish. They did not  understand your pain."

"And still you called it a Heaven" pat came my reply.

But God never stops smiling. "Yes it was a Heaven. You know why? Because I gave you to choose. Had you chosen anyone else as your boyfriend, he would have loved you. Had you chosen your friends wisely you would have been happy. Why did you let them hurt you? Why did you need a friend who dont understand you? And above all why did you not love yourself? I gave you brain to reason. I gave you heart to love. I gave you parents to support and you still didnt appreciate?"

I was about to  answer when my alarm clock rang. I sat upright on the bed. Blimey! I was dreaming. My mother entered my room and said "Happy Birthday Nita. Dont worry I will talk to Nitish and he wont leave you. Be happy now"

I hugged her tight and said "No mum. I dont need Nitish anymore. He is gone for good. I dont need Sonal, Neha, Puneet etc. I dont want any negative people. I need you. I need dad. I need my sister Naina. I love you all. And above all I love myself now. Much more than before

Second Chance

It was 10th Dec, their marriage anniversary. Rishita was upset since morning. She came early from her work. Her husband Joy has forgotten the special date. It was the first time he did. Before this he had never been so forgetful. Their's was a love marriage. Rishita belonged to a higher middle class family whereas Joy has to work really hard to earn a decent income. Yet Rishita adjusted well. She decorated their small yet cosy home with utmost love and care. Nothing was wrong in their world till a few days back.

Joy and Rishita quarreled with each other over small things and these often lead them to think whether they have made any wrong choice in their lives. Today was no exception. Rishita waited for Joy to atleast remember this special day and patch up. But Joy woke up with a grim face and after having breakfast  left for office without speaking a word. His silence pierced Rishita like a knife.She left for her office but couldnt stay there for many a time. Returning shortly afterwards Rishita started preparing some of Joy's favourite food. Atleast the food might remind him and he will be apologetic was what Rishita expected.

Around 5 pm the doorbell rang. Rishita hurriedly opened it to find Joy standing with a bouquet of flowers. Taken aback Rishita screamed with joy. Its now Joy's turn to speak ."Hello darling I did not forget today's date. Happy anniversary". Needless to say Rishita was overwhelmed. This was something which was beyond her imagination.

They forgot about their quarrels and started laughing and joking like before. Joy gifted her a beautiful necklace. He had been saving his money all the year round to buy her this. Nothing could be a perfect day for Rishita than this. She was cloud eleven. She was suddenly reminded of the food in the kitchen and she thus ran quickly towards it. Just when everything started looking fine, the phone rang.

Rishita was irritated. Thinking it to be some random promotional calls she went to pick it up when it displayed an unknown number on the screen.
Rishita: "Hello:
An unknown voice:"Is this Mrs Sen speaking?"
Rishita: "Yes. Who is this?"
Unknown voice: "Mam I am calling from Kasba Police Station. There was an accident today near Ruby Hospital and we have got the phone number from the wallet of your husband. We are sorry to inform that he is no more. I request you to kindly come and identify the body."

Rishita was stilled. How could this be? Joy came just now. She hurried to the living room and found no trace of Joy, nor the bouquet or the necklace. Was she dreaming. She sank down to the sofa. Is this possible? Joy has died and it might be his spirit who came for a last visit. She read something like this in story books. Do they happen for real? She started howling. She could never think of anyday without him. She did not even get a second chance to undo her mistakes. He must have died with a broken heart. And now there is no chance to say sorry to him. It was just their 1st anniversary and today she lost him.

Right then the bathroom door opened and out came Joy rubbing the towel in his forehead. "Rishita I forgot to tell you my purse had been stolen today, outside the shop from where I bought the gifts.I could not catch him and thus had to walk back home."

Rishita stared at him in amazement.

Life may not give a second chance to all. So live in the present and forget the differences. Its too short to wake up with regret or frown.

Rituals for people or people for rituals?

I remember one catchy line said by Mithun Chakraborty to Paresh in the film OMG "they are not God loving people , they are God fearing people" as the later tries to fight against "Act of God" .
The above line holds true for most of us. When we were kids we we asked to fold our hands in front of God or else face his wrath. In fear we used to do as was told.

I used to see my grandma being a widow, never used to touch any non veg food which she at one time loved dearly. She used to fast for every "amabasya" and then used to have some non cooked food like fruits etc. She was strict about not touching non veg also. My mother used to cook for us , clean the kitchen and then cook for her separately. All the non veg items should not touch any veg item. The utensils were not even barred.

Now when I was getting married I was asked to fast the whole day. I was made to eat at 5 am in the morning( I was feeling miserable eating at such time) and the remaining day I was made to eat only sweets or lassi. Damm. By the time I reached the mandap in the evening I was starved and feeling less energetic. I begged everyone to bring me some food. My elder brother brought a handful of pakoras and asked me to eat quickly. So I there was eating pakoras like a thief as if I am punished for getting married.

These are very common example that I have stated. We Indians follow loads of them almost everyday. Rituals are part of our lives. There are some rituals which we should follow whereas some are too much for us. Why do we need to fast the whole day twice every month? Just for pujas.What will happen if you do puja at your home? Will God not listen to you? Then why do you feed HIM everyday after bath? Why is a widow punished for someone who is no more? Why cant you live your life as before? As far as marriages are concerned we are told that in order to maintain good health fast that day. Comeon think about the sugar level getting dropped, the hunger pangs we get. How is that worth?

One collegueof mine says "We dont drink coconut water after sunset". Bewildered I asked the reason thinking it must be linked with acidity. But no her answer was something which lacked logic. "I am taught that way and I follow that".  I asked her instead "Is ritual for people or people are for rituals". Comeon drinking coconut water has nothing to do with Sun rise or Sun set. The Sun God is busy with other things. He is not perturbed by this. What gets perturbed is your system. It might not take it well as the metabolism slows down at that time.

But alas where there is logic there is no God and subsequently no rituals. So mainly the rituals are too much exaggerated. You follow some and do what you feel comfortable. God surely will not be angry on you. God is not vindictive. Love your God, love your religion but first love yourself. Dont sacrifice your health. Its not doing any good. Think about it. If you still cant get the answer I will utter like Shah rukh Khan "Rehn de..tu nehi samjhega".

 

Blogging - the journey I love

It all started some 7-8 years ago when a friend of mine studying in a elite college told me that he reads people's blog. He used to get unlimited internet connection in his hostel and was an addict. Bewildered at his words I asked "What is a blog?" When he told me about it I started reading few. I was studying Engineering and was not as fortunate as him to get an unlimited net connection. I had to coax the Airtel guy for not giving us proper 3G signal in our hostel (mind , in those days 3G was just launched and not every area had got it. If u get a 2G thats pretty good enough).

Back at home I used to stick to the computer chatting with him and surfing the various sites. There grew the urge to write my heart's content. I thought of giving it a try. I was not sure how to write and whether anyone will read it or not. As human beings we are always afraid to take the first leap. Once you are within it , your fear goes. I was tempted to write about my personal thoughts that too somewhere different from my diary.
There I went opening my 1st blogspot account and started with a movie review.

As years passed by the blogging continued. I enjoyed it thoroughly and its still my favorite pastime. The best part of it is I am not dutifully bound to it. People lack interest once anything becomes a duty. If any idea pops up in my mind I sit down and write it. Being moody I sometimes lost interest but that doesnt stop me from writing. I have invited people including my friends and colleagues to read and comment. Their honest criticism help me to look forward and improve.

In recent times people are more engaged in writing biographies and personal thoughts as a book hence the importance of blogging has  increased manifold. My best critic is my English Mam who read my blog posts and commented "Never give up on your passion dear." They say what your nature is will be reflected on your writing. I am too straight forward and believe in writing or talking to the point. Anything beyond that is something that can be ignored.

Coming to indiblogger I have found so richly talented people that its a complete pleasure sitting and reading their posts. Many are informative, some are funny , some are witty. I am amazed at the number of members this site has. It brings me sheer joy when I find people taking their time and reading my post or commenting.And with Indispire topics I am now never short of any topics to write my blog post. I dont write for all of them though( I am choosy about it).

For the last 7-8 years of blogging irrespective of any progress or improvement on my side I have just loved writing. Its just that I am the owner of my own kingdom and I can write whatever I like. The freedom and also boundless nature of blogging has given me the true essence of satisfaction.

The tagline of Indiblogger beautifully says "We blog therefore we are"....Happy blogging.

All about books

I am choosy about everything.Be it food,clothes,color even books. I read them all only if they are interesting enough to catch my attention . Once I am into it there is no leaving. As a book worm I read all type of authors. Some write great stories , some have great story writing style but the content is so-so.

To list down favorite author I would start with Agatha Christie. I am a fan of her books. The way she writes and solves a murder mystery is something which leaves me awe struck. I started her book with "The Crooked House" and then went on and on. She never disappoints me. Her detectives Hercule Poirot, Miss Marple, Mr Harley Quin, Tommy and Tuppence , Mr Parker Pyne are by far my most loved characters.

Then comes Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Who can say no to Mr Sherlock Holmes. The suave writing and plots are something incomparable to any other mystery stories.

I must include my Harry Potter series. I am never too old not to read them again and again. I love them a lot and would love to read the 7 series of novel as and when I get time. I am in love with Harry, Ron & Hermione and have never missed any movie of them.

For Indian authors I have liked Chetan Bhagat but not fond of his writing now a days. He has the ability to hook the reader till the end but the content is not upto the mark. Ravinder Singh's books also has so-so content. What matters is the story and the way u r writing it.

A book is something I never regret to buy and build a library of my own. I carry my kindle everywhere and "I am never without a book". I love reading short stories if I cant complete my long novels. I thus reside in my own world most of the time.