Some thoughts on women empowerment

A lot is being spoken nowadays about Women empowerment. I would share some of my real life scenarios to elaborate on my thought about the topic.

Scenario 1: One day a colleague was complaining about his health. We started discussing about it and as the discussion progressed he told me that some people in his apartment has put into his wife's head the idea of taking up a job. She instantly found it to be worth and informed her husband to help her in finding a suitable job as she was getting bored of being just a house -wife. But her husband was against the idea as to him "agar woh job karegi to ghar mein khana kaun banayega?" He needs his wife to get up at 5 a.m and cook for him all that he loves to eat and also do the household chores. He doesnt want her to work lest she becomes more smarter than him. Her wife is non-demanding and he thinks himself to be Parameswar who has the authority to scold, abuse or even beat his wife.

Scenario 2: Another colleague added to this point. He wants his wife to be working and never ever leave the job just because he is afraid he cannot meet up the family expenses. His wife will have to contribute in everything he does starting from family expenses and should take care of her own needs. He is not ready to pay her shopping bills, And her wife should be contributing if he buys something for both of them.

Scenario 3:  The discussion continued with another colleague informing that her in-laws demanded her salary to be deposited to her husband's account. They asked her how much savings does she have and what all does she do with those money. And definitely she being the " badi bahu" , should wear saree to office, would never wear western and also is expected to cook for them 3 times a day. Even when she was carrying her child her in-laws insisted that she travel all the way from her maternal house to their house. And the moment she reached, her mother-in-law asked her to prepare tea for the whole family knowing pretty well that she is in her ultimate stage of pregnancy.

All the above scenarios let me ponder about the plight of a woman. To me a woman needs equality and freedom to choose her life. She is not a maid servant who would silently work for her husband's happiness and will satisfy all his needs, someone who would cook all the time, does her job and deposits the entire salary to her husband's account. WHY? Why does men think their better halves to be someone with a lot of sacrificing capabilty?  Why should a woman be forced to work even if she doesnt want to work? If men can pretend to be householder then why should they not take care of their wives basic needs? Even today many of the people dont like their daughters to wear jeans. They believe in getting them married once they pass college. They dont want them to study further or work just in fear of not getting a decent groom.

Now again my question is why should we demand anything less than equality?  Why should not a women be respected for her vital duties? We need empowerment. People should be aware that their daughters are no less than their son. A woman should be respected for her different roles, as a daughter, as a sister, as a wife, as a daughter-in-law, as an executive or as a mother. Starting from getting up early and handle all her roles is what makes her more powerful than anyone else. Without her it will be a different world to live.

Happiness mantra

The one activity which makes you happy...ummmmm there are loads that makes me happy..ok ok I got it ..the one activity which gives you maximum happiness.. This topic reminds me of a senior of mine who few day back told me to write a single but too meaningful question for his training deck, just when I was planning to leave. I gave a weak smile, enough to convey him that I am in no mood to do that when my office time is over. But he insisted "please 1 question,that is what I am asking" as if he thinks himself to be Shahrukh Khan promoting KBC with "ek aisa sawal jo zindagi badal de." And as if I am a great question maker in his eyes(only for saying, just not to let me go early.)

Now coming back to the topic. The one activity that gives you maximum happiness. Well its when I am back after office and stay quietly in my room either relaxing or reading, or even singing ,that is exactly when I find myself to be truly happy. With so many stress in life from various aspect starting from your manager not thinking you to be productive enough even after you spend overtime in office delivering his wishes as your supposed work allocation,to your father-in-law screaming when you return just to complain about something which either me or my husband is not following or to the heavy traffic that makes your 1 hour journey as long as 2 and 1/2 hour..stress has different shape and form for everyone. It will metamorphose but wont ever go. 

The best way to deal with stressful life is to take sometime for yourself. I happily blog if I can think of a good topic. But the days when I dont get my free time is when I am over stressed. Even after returning home if you find yourself engaged in some tedious jobs thats when all my energy drains out. And needless to say that first thing that comes to my mind the next day the alarm clock rings is "I will be OOO (Out of office) today."

I 'dislike' your post

There was a demand of facebook to indroduce a 'dislike' button and that was brought forward to Mark Zuckerberg when he hosted the facebook Q&A in a townhall.

The debate started like "It is our fundamental right to dislike something as much as we like anything." True. It is fundamental right. But consider a situation a 20 year old college girl posted her pic in facebook.She got some 70 likes and 10 dislikes. Among the people who disliked it were her own close friends and relatives.Now the impact of these 10 dislikes will be much more than the 70 likes she has got. It will have a negative effect on her. Similar would be the case of any boy or a man to get a dislike in his picture or post.

There are some status updates which we do not like. They are silly enough to be posted on facebook and shared to the world. But again they are very much part of the human emotions. Disliking your status will make you less friendly in true sense, as people seldom like the bitter truth. This will start effecting relationships. Afterall nowadays the social media is the most important way to remain connected with people across the globe.

Mark Zuckerberg suggested that he wants an 'Empathy' button instead of 'Dislike' so that people can empathize more.If a person has posted any status about his loss be it financial,personal or material people can use the 'Empathy' button to make them understand that they are by their side. Definitely here the 'Like' button doesnt work and 'Dislike' button doesnt stand a chance.

It is a fact that Facebook has become much more than social networking site. People's relation depends on the facebook friendlist. Sounds funny but true. Those who delete few from their friendlist is actually deleted from their real friend list.

Thus in my personal opinion though disliking is my fundamental right it should be good if we dont have the 'Dislike' button as it would do more harm than good. I support Mark's decision to introduce the 'Empathy' button instead.

Thats the way of life

There was a little girl who was very sad and gloomy everyday as nothing she wished came true. One day an Angel was flying past when she heard the girl sobbing. Kind-hearted enough the Angel stopped by and asked the girl what has happened. The girl narrated her plight. To that the Angel lovingly said "Life gives you enough opportunities to fulfill every dream of yours.Why not you start working on the things you want.

The girl was adamant."No Angel you make my dreams come true. I dont want this life. I want a different life with different purpose and everything different." The Angel agreed to fulfill one of her wishes.But the girl had a long list , so the Angel agreed to fulfill one wish everyday.

The girl was very happy. She wrote down all her wishes and everyday she waited for a new day to get one more of her wish fulfilled. But slowly slowly she realized that everything she wished didnt bring her happiness, it brought many unhappy consequences. She started feeling unhappy again and slowly became afraid of every new morning. She was now afraid of her own wishes.

Soon she approached the Angel to take back the charm. The Angel asked her "What happened dear? Arent you happy now? You didnt want your previous life, You wanted everything new. Now when you have all of it, you are still complaining?"

The girl cried " Forgive me oh dear Angel. I was happy with my previous life as I got everything there. I could easily fulfill some of my best dreams had I worked hard. With the new life I have had many consequences which I didnt want. My friends left me, my family disbelieved me. I can do with what megre I had in my previous life if I have my family and friends back. I will work hard and I know they will help me whenever I fall down."

The Angel said "Life is a hard teacher my dear. It gives test first and then the lessons. Everybody is not born with the same capability but everybody has the same equal opportunity to make it bigger. The lessons of life will be repeated until and unless learnt. And thus you understand why God never gives you everything you ask for because everything is not needed to make you happy. Go back my child to your previous life and work hard for your dreams to come true. If you have passion for anything you will fight through all the difficulties and obstacles in your way and God Himself will help you move forward."

How easy it is to go away from someone

It was late at night. Ahana was sleeping. She has to wake up early tomorrow for her office. Her phone rings. Its her boyfriend. He usually calls up at this hour lest his mother comes to know about it.

Ahana sprang up on the bed and softly answers the call.
"Hello Ahana, are you sleeping?"
Ahana: "Ya, its almost 1 a.m .What are you doing?"
"Completed my packing, will be leaving tomorrow night."
Ahana: "hmm best of luck dear for your masters and do keep me posted when you reach there."
"All the best to you too Ahana for your future. And I wont be taking my phone with me. It wont work in US"
Ahana: "why are you wishing me.I am not going anywhere?"
"I am wishing for your future. I may not be able to keep in touch with you and this might be my final call."
Ahana: "Dont be stupid. Do mail me atleast when you reach there."
"Ok..Now go to sleep and have a great life ahead."

The phone got disconnected. The next morning Ahana tried a lot of time to call him but the phone went unanswered.

As she laid to her bed at night watching over the clock and thinking when his flight will start and frantically calling him to wish once before he leaves, the phone call still goes unanswered.

Ahana's mom enters her room to find her secretly weeping. She calms her "didnt he call you before departure?" Ahana answered to herself "He has chosen not to call me again mom. It is his choice not to love me anymore. How easy it is for a person to leave without a reason just because he is not liking it anymore."

Book Review: Mrs Funnybones

I read once in an article that a book is almost like your boyfriend. You take it everywhere and dont mind flipping a few pages you get time. And once a book ends you fanatically search for a second one hoping it to be equally interesting.

I was in such a phase when I saw the book launch news of Mrs Funnybones by none other than a Bollywood celebrity Twinkle Khanna. I didnt know she can write but yes read a few reviews that she has an amazing wit and sense of humor. I thought of giving it a try. I bought it in my kindle and started reading it every night before going to bed.

If I have to review the book as a whole in one word then I would say it is not upto the mark. The book has a caption "Mrs FunnyBones : she is somewhat like you and a lot like me". Well its all about Twinkle Khanna and some of her thoughts on day to day activities. Starting from getting up in the morning to retiring at bed she has told some of her life experiences which was somewhat funny and sarcastic. The entire book is not her autobiography completely but a peek to her private world and her lavish lifestyles. It is about how she manages her office and her family even after being such a celebrity.

All in all the book is average read for people who have a hunger for knowing loads. An okay-okay types for those who prefer light read. And definitely a wonderful achievement if you are a Twinkle Khanna fan.

An interview

9 A.M : I woke up startled by the loud ringtone of my cellphone. Its my boss Ashok calling. "Hey Shreya get up yaar. Did you firget that you have to go to the Alipore Jail today?" I horrified at his words, fumbled"Jail? Why? I havent done anything. Is there a policeman standing outside my house? Oh come on Ashok you are handing me over to police for coming late to office?" Ashok roared with laughter " Good suggestion Shreya. Probably I would propose this to be added in out Indian law, in the next article I write for our weekly magazine. Now get up and get ready. You have to interview a jail inmate. I will text you the details." I breathed a sign of relief. Thank God he is not sending me to jail.
Beep beep. Here's his whatsapp message about the details of today's interview:
Name: Sangita Roy
Occupation: Worked in a private firm
Age: 28
Accused of: Cold blooded murder of her husband, who was paralyzed, just for few thousands bucks

My mood went bitter. Come on ! cant I interview some nice personalities? Some rich and famous? This should be my first and last. Next time I will raise a red card if he assigns me with these kind of horrible interviews.

11 A.M: Reached Alipore Jail. Asked permission from the Jail superintendent for the interview. The middle aged man with a pot belly and big mustache scanned my permission letter and allowed me a 30 mins to interview the accused.
11:20 A.M: As I sat on a bench with my paper and pen ready, waiting for some horrible murder accused to be with me, I am surprised to see a very decent looking girl approaching me guarded by a lady constable.
"Hello I am Shreya Banerjee from 'India's Outlook' weekly magazine. I have come to ask you few questions about your case. This will be one of the articles of our upcoming issue."
To this Sangita replied:" Oh, I know about your magazine. I initially worked for my internship there. I was a Mass Communication student. Wanted to be a journalist. But ended up being something else."

I was taken aback. She seems well educated. Then how come she is a murderer. I restrained myself from showing any emotions.

Me:" Well, tell me then how did you end up in Jail."
Sangita: " Because I killed my husband."
Me: "And why is that so?"
Sangita: "Because we live in a country where Euthanasia is not allowed."
Me: "Start from beginning."

Sangita: "I was a Post Graduate student in Mass Communication at a reputed Govt college, aspiring journalist. He was my batch mate. We were not lovers but yes he had falled for me. I knowingly kept him aside prioritizing my career first.We had many political rallies at our college. You know  what govt colleges are like.
In one of the political rallies we students from our dept took a very active part. I was one of the leaders. Despite severe hindrance from my pessimist friend Soham(who later became my husband), I was enthusiatic enough to lead my ideologies against the govt. In that rally police raf was called by the college authorities and they started beating us like anything. I was saved by Soham from getting a massive blow but instead it hit him badly in his head. He felt unconscious and started bleeding. There was chaos all around and students were shoved into police van. In the midst of the chaos and cries I took help of other students and quietly made my way out dragging unconscious Soham. They hurdled me into a taxi and I immediately took him to a hospital. It was after 3 days that Soham gained consciousness. Doctor confirmed me that the impact of the blow was so severe that a part of his brain has been damaged. He will never be able to lead a normal life and will be a vegetable for ever depending on life support system. And now I was being blamed by Soham's parents as well as mine. I decided to marry him. I left college and started working at a private firm. We stayed in a lil rented apartment.
Life started moving but Soham was not happy. He didnt want to live. Everyday he used to cry in pain and wanted to take his life, which I always prevented. One day unknowingly he wrote a letter to the CM seeking permission for euthanasia. The CM's reply was negative as it is against the law. We received a cheque of 10k instead, a very meager amount to continue life.
Soham was getting restless day by day. One day I had to give in to his request. I had to switch off his life support system. And then......"

There was a long pause.

Me:" Why didnt you tell the truth in the court?"
Sanguta smiled :" I told you na. Euthanasia against our judiciary system."

1 P.M: I went back to my office with a heavy heart thinking how to put it as an article so that justice can be done.