Working v/s House Wife

After few hard days at office some of our friends decided to go out for a weekend trip to the hills. It was a welcome change for all of us, a way to escape the stressful life for at least few days. As we were travelling a friend who is a house wife recently told me some of the disadvantages she is facing in order to play her role. Her independence is at stake. She is expected to do all the household chores starting from getting up as early as 5 a.m in the morning and continue to work till she hit the bed to wake up again the next morning. The financial independence is totally lost as her husband is constantly asking the reason for all her expenditures.

The signs, though common for many of our lives yet the question is when she is a full time home maker what makes her separate from any full time employed wife. After all she too puts on hard work in every household things that need to be done, starting from cooking,dusting,washing etc etc etc. Still his husband feels a lil complex when it comes to comparing with other friend's wives. I dont want to delve deep into debate or anything, but in this current situation cant men be more sympathetic towards their partners who are kept on their toes constantly so that he can have a better home to live. Men can shed off the taboo that working women are more superior. There are many who are pathetic at both the places be it office or home. Thus when that friend uttered a question "So what I dont work in an office, does that make me anything less than I ought to be?" I had nothing but silence as an answer.

If life can be associated with a song...

This post is for the Indispire topic. The moment I saw the same I was reminded of an old reality show "Indian Idol" the session number have faded from my mind but it was highly appreciated and talked about.

The judge happened to be Anu Malik, Udit Narayan, Alisha Chinoy and Javed Akhtar. The host Mini Mathur one day asked Javed Akhtar what would be your best song which you can describe yourself or which is quite close to your heart. The well known lyricist instantly sung 2 lines of the song

"Main zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya
Har fikr ko dhuyein mein udata chala gaya"

As I looked at the topic I was reminded of this song. How I would wish to live the life as this song lyrics. But definitely being human with my own shortcomings I never accept every situation easily nor do I release my tensions like a puffs of smoke..Definitely this is one of the goals of my life which I have to work on. I have known people careless enough to leave all their tensions and relax till time gives them a hard kick. Some of them though eventually get their things done without taking tensions. But tension is also a driving force. It keeps us aware of the present and let us decide our future.

Life has not been easy for Mr Dev Anand who struggled to become the most evergreen hero of Bollywood. Neither has it been for Mohammed Rafi who sung this song beautifully and with all his vigor. And definitely not for Javed Akhtar whose lyrics and poetry are beyond simple appreciations.
This song is what everyone wants their life to be. To be tension free, to live with no definite planing for future come whatever .

"Barbadiyon ka sokh manana fizul tha
Barbadiyon ka jashn manata chala gaya"

Once mentioned by a famous personality "hereos can do anything, afterall they are heroes." In real life we are supposed to be practical and fully aware of the everything under the Sun. And it is the unconquered will that our mind longs to conquer is what this song is all about.

I would wish to sing this song as an achievement, when I am old enough to have completed  all the duties before bidding this Earth my farewell.

Few more hours is all I need

One of the discussion topics that happened in a gathering of old school friends after a couple of years, was the statement "I wish I had more than 24 hrs in a day."

To that one friend replied that it might mean more hours at office. But the wish for extra time was purely for personal purpose.

For all the working women out there it takes more than half of the day at office and travelling. You wake up in the morning to go to office. You return at night to go to bed and the routine continues.

What if we could get some extra hours so that we can spend talking with parents who longed for their children to do so. We could devote some time for ourselves to do something that interests us. We could connect with our old friends or relatives staying far away.

But alas things will not be so. We will huddle and try to keep everything in place all at a time,which is impossible. Thus we go on curtailing those important things as they occupy lower position in our priority list.Some days we are too tired to speak to our parents. Weekends also bring loads of pending work. Thus our interest seems to take a backstage. Also with facebook or whatsapp we hardly get any time to chat with old friends. In order to stay fit we compromise some hours of our necessary sleep.
We cannot leave our jobs, nor can we curtail its timings everyday. We curtail our lists of interest.

I make sure that at least before going to bed I would read few pages of books that are pending to be read. I utilize few times reading while I travel to office. Though my eyes starts complaining as they need few more rests I still carry on because thats the only way how I can keep my interest alive. I would occasionally log into blogging sites to see what the others are upto. As the word goes "The more you read , the more you know"  only to realize that the time is limited. If you dont complete your work on time you have to stretch and do it. As it is you are sleep deprived and stretching extra hours means added pressure to your body and mind.

I wish we could stretch on the personal side also, devoting some extra hours in our day to day activities.But we wont get more than 24hrs and everything has to be on time. 

Thank You God

It was a tough day for me. My health was not good. Too much pressure at office. Its just a day when you dont feel like doing anything and nothing seems to be getting better.

I returned home and sat in the serenity of my bedroom recollecting all the major and minor happenings of my life. What I realized is that I cant be more thankful to God than to anyone else.

As I realized God's decision to reprove me for poor marks was a blessing in disguise for I got a wonderful experience of a hostel life and definitely a sure change was brought in my adaptibility enhancing the adjusting nature further.

I realized that nothing lasts forever as no matter how hard I try some great people are bound to leave.

As correctly pointed out by someone God has His own way of making us understand the importance of good. He has created evil so that we can recognize what is good, he has given us hunger so that we can eat, he has created pride so that we know how and why to remain humble.

I have a lot of questions to God when things never go right, we all do --its human nature , but do we stop and realize when we get the answers? Do we stop for a minute and say Thank you to God when He slowly answers and shows us why His decision is always right?

I read somewhere that miracles happens everyday. Not that I believed it at one go. Its not before one day while traveling to office I was feeling too frail and continuously prayed to God to help me out, then I found my bus to reach the office before the scheduled time so that I can at least relax in the office medical room and get an immediate dose of medicine.

Who says prayers are never answered? They always are. You might be too busy to realize when they do happen.

During college days I asked God to give me a covey of good friends with whom I can have the most sensational life. God gave me 1 good friend who eventually turned out to be my best friend. He was there through all my thick and thins, supporting me , comforting me whenever I needed him.

I smiled at myself when my mind went to a flashback and only one thing which I could utter straight from heart is "Thank you God. Thank you sooooo much."

Why did you leave?

"I am sorry Anita but we can no longer be friends as we used to be. Something between us was more than friendship and now that you are marrying someone else I think it will be more accurate step at this moment" with tears in her eyes Anita is reminded of the words of Joy as she stares at an old pic of their friends group which somebody has posted on facebook.

With a smile on her lips she asks a simple question to herself "what have I done to deserve a punishment? Joy never told me he had a liking towards me and I never knew. I chose someone else. But in turn I had to sacrifice such a beautiful friendship. How much I miss our jokes, laughter, hanging out in groups, playing pranks on each other. Why on all earth do I have to suffer for something I have not done?"

Her anguish was further elevated by her mother-in law switching on the television where a Jagjit Singh's ghazal was being played
         "Yahi hota hain to akhir yehi hota kyun hain
           Yahi duniya hain to phir aisi yeh duniya kyun hain"

Some observations

The idea of an Undo button or a Ctrl+Z key as we do in computer, had the same existed in our lives too our lives would have been phenomenal.
 If I ask this question to anyone I know I would receive a ballot of hankering.

How often even I have yearned for an Undo button.

But few days back I came across 2 people who actually unwound their time and have travelled to their youth.

There was a biology teacher in my school whom I admired most for her resplendent teaching. I used to take even private tuition from her. Years later I added her in facebook only to be surprised to find that she had remarried at the age of 50. The groom was a batchmate of her from the same school. He is well settled, manager at some prestigious hotel. I didnt know what went wrong in her last marriage but all I knew was that she loved her only son and always loved to adorn herself like girls half her age. And definitely its facebook again to provide all the nitty gritties.

What amuses me is to find out that the newly wed couple is behaving just like a newly wed in their mid twenties or rather a college teen falling in love. My teacher whom I called aunty lovingly poses with her Valentine's Day gift and declares that boyfriends become more romantic when they turn into husbands. May be to her its veritable but definitely its a topic of debate.

And then the husbands posts the pictures of their outings, dinner at weekends, of her charming lady who is obsessed about posing and of course their selfies.

This strikes me sometimes as I find them a little exaggerating their personal lives. Though I am happy with her getting an Undo button in real sense. She cant undo her past that's true but atleast wont repeat the same in future. Now the question is are these all necessary to showcase in a social media? The usage of facebook to showcase sometime love and sometimes disagreement like the newly wed is too much for other people.

Not to sound judgemental but sometimes its annoying to find your most respected teacher dressed up like girls in twenties and behave childishly. Dont we expect her to be more matured at least in this matter?

As I had said before she has started living her life since beginning with some other man. She clicks selfies and posts them and never fail to oblige the people who comment her as "ravishing" even though when she is not.

My concern is simple. Live your life the way you want it. Life will present some opportunity to rewind but yes it will different from the 1st one. But be a little responsible when it comes to social media. People's perspective changes when they get to find every details about your life. And again I am no philosopher who can say what is right or wrong. I just smile at her pictures and hope she remain happy and smiling for ever.

If I could choose how to die

This post is again for an Indispire topic.

Death is the most painful truth of our lives. Throughout our lifespan we try and wish to have a painless and problem free death. But as the word goes "Man proposes God Disposes" we seldom get to die the way we want.

Somedays back I was discussing with a friend about the film Piku where Amitabh Bacchan tells his daughter not to keep him on ventilator as it is painful . They will stick needles all over your body and would make it terrible for you. He wanted to die in peace. And subsequently the question got asked "how do you wish to die or according to you what is the best way to die?" To that my friend answered "if a person dies doing the thing he loves the most, that is the best way. There cannot be anything more enjoyable death than this."

Long back I read in a newspaper when the famous Steve Irwin died his wife said that she is happy as he has died doing something which he loved. Few days back I saw a facebook post on the mountaineer Malli Mastan Babu an IIM alumnus who died while trying to reach another summit. It made me feel just the same.

So far as dying is concerned I would like a peaceful death while asleep just like Amitabh Bacchan in Piku. He died peacefully with a smile on his face having accomplished all what he wanted. The family members are spared from the problem of taking the patient to hospitals and spend thousands on the treatment. The best way to die is to silently move away and spare the others from the trouble. As it might sound harsh but its absolutely true that a bed ridden person is like more of a burden to any of your family members at whatever age be it. People will be caring for sometime and after that they will get fed up with you. And then  countless prayers will go to God to take you away and relive you from the miseries. And when God finally answers the prayers their faces will be like a long lost battle has finally ended. You are now relieved from the duties.

Birth is painful but followed by happiness. The process is fixed we cant change that. But to die in happiness is what we all look forward to. But again we are no one to decide. We can only hope.