Should we befriend opposite sex?

This post is again for the Indispire topic.

The word friendship doesnt have any limitation that it can be done within same sex,age or religion. Its something beyond any boundaries. Its simple and doesnt need any criteria to fit. However I have seen people with prejudices that they should befriend only in their sex and not with any opposite sex.

If a girl has a lot of male friends its common for her parents to ask "tumhare class mein koi ladkiyan nehi padhti?" Its people's mentality to think that if a girl is befriending a boy then there is something else going on within them. I am sorry but this is the truth even for most of parts of India. I remember a guy saying to me "ek ladki aur ek ladka kabhi dost nehi ban sakte. Agar woh acche dost ban gaye to woh dosti nehi rehti."

I once asked a friend of mine why she is doesnot feel talking to another guy from her state. To that she replied "I am white, he is black so we cant be friends. Our culture doesnt match." Now where does culture comes when it is just to  make friendship? Over the years I have realised that friends with opposite sex are much helpful than that of the same sex. Guys generally dont have any insecurities. They share notes, help friends to reach their home, help in case of problems where as girls are more prone to stay away in the times of need. They will be the last person to help you even during or before exams. But exceptions are always there. As this world is based on give and take policy a female friend is more like to back bite another female friend than a male friend.

As far as the word friendship goes it is never bound to any age,sex,religion,colour,race etc etc. It is purely a sweet relationship between individuals who share their personal thought amongst each other. We should never try to bind it with false prejudices. How happy will you be if your friend is beside you at your greatest time and even at your greatest loss? Be it female or male how will it matter if you can share your feelings easily with that person and dont have to pretend to be someone which you are not?

Should we keep expectations or should we refrain from it?

I was randomly reading few blog posts when I came across one which shook me a little. The author says that each of us are born to live our own life and not to please others or live upto their expectations. He has cited few examples from his own life story and many people have supported his ideas.

Well I am not being judgmental about him or dishonoring him for his ideas-- but the thought made me think has the world become so selfish that we think of only ourselves? In Bhagwad Gita it is mentioned that we should refrain from expectations as expectations leads to trouble- it hurts. But does that mean we will turn selfish? We will not live upto anybody's expectations? There is a friend of mine who believes that he has married for the sake of getting married- just to fulfill his family's constant nagging wish. He doesnt mind if his wife chooses a better job and stays away from him , its fine with him as he wont mind living alone. Definitely the question arises if you had to live alone what was the point in getting married?

Another friend of mine was just like the author mentioned above. He had a girlfriend who loved her dearly but he dumped her for better future. He was not ready for a relationship. Once I asked him why did you in the first place get into a serious relationship? He coolly said " Come on yaar I am in this world to fulfill my dreams and become what I want,  I cant waste my life on her. She will find someone else and probably much better than me."
To this I smiled silently thinking that there hardly will be anybody seriously involved in any relationship if there are more people like you.

We maintain the "Mind your own business" thing at workplaces or places where we dont hold any intimate relationship. But should we say the same thing to our loved ones? To our parents, friends, teachers, students, elders, spouses,children? Should we say to them that we are born to live free and each of us are different individuals with different tastes,choices etc?

Expectations can get you feel less hurt as you would not take it to your heart if things doesnt go well. But there is a difference in being selfish and not keeping expectations. If we dont have people to please or make them happy we would probably end in a lonely world with no one beside our death bed to shed a few drops of tears or take our dead body for cremation and at least remember us when we are not there.

Note: This post is not written to hurt or dishonor anybody. Its just a personal feeling and has got nothing to do with anybody's ideas.

7 things you should follow in order to lead a happy life

Life is short. Live it simple.

As we deal with numerous stresses in our lives starting from the simple to the complex ones, dont we often forget to listen to ourselves? What we want? How we want to live?  Its true life will never be like the way we ling for. But its worth living. In order to be happy we have to listen to ourselves not others.

Happiness comes from within. I have listed few of my personal observations from a lil of my experienced life.

Please feel free to comment your views.

1. Let go the friendship you struggled to keep

There are few people in our lives whom we consider to be a true friend and too precious to lose. However the sad part is many a times they do not reciprocate the same, which leaves us hurt, sulky. No matter how much we forgive their faults and irrational behaviour, they do not think twice if we do the same as them.

Let go those friends. Remember your friendship is too precious for people who dont love you back. Let them be happy in their own life and you move forward with new set of friends. No relationship is worth if it takes only you to do all the struggles.

2. Be self confident

This is the most important thing in your life. People envy those who are self confident. No matter whether you are fat, slim, beautiful,ugly dont give a damm. Nobody can play your role as you can. So stop bothering about anything. Hold your head high and say " Hum kisise kam nehi."

3. Dont let others to affect your mood

This is perhaps the most common thing which we experience day to day. If somebody says something rude to us we get upset. Anything negative by any people around us be it friends, family, colleagues, we end up feeling gloomy,hurt, disappointed,tensed, anxious---the list is never ending. 

You decide how you should behave. Dont let them spoil your mood. You are your best judge. Have faith on yourself.

4. Always keep a filter in your ears

You will always find numerous people always bitching against others. There will be people as well giving you lost of gyans as to how you should behave. Remember to listen to them but filter the words that you want to hear. Do not believe everything you hear, do not follow everything either.

5. Learn to be firm 

To be happy you do sometimes have to be firm and stick to your decision. People abide by them who are more logical and firm rather than those who cant say "no" to the others. Yes, you may not be liked by all but thats definitely not possible . 

6. Expect  less, depend less

I always remembered a friend of mine saying "kabhi kisise kuch expect mat karna" . I believe it till date. I used to depend only on  myself when I needed to go out of my college hostel to buy few things, I depend on myself if I have to eat alone in the cafeteria at the lunch break in office. I have seen people who are extremely dependant on the others and as a result most of the time their work doesnt happen. They wished to be like me, but never had the courage to be so.

7. Do what your heart wishes

Perhaps another most significant thing. Want to buy a nice dress or an expensive watch? Want to eat out ? Want to go holidaying with friends and family? Want to be left alone? Want to write your heart out? Want to shut up those people who irritates you? Want to sing,dance and be crazy? Go ahead, there is nothing stopping you. Dont hold regrets. Thats bad.

Life without Google

This post is written in correspond to Indispire topic.

There is a saying "if you dont do your work , somebody else will."

We do almost all our searchings starting from minute things to very important things in Google. You mane it Google baba has it. Definitely google with its immense products are making our lives very simpler. Not only search engine, the mails, maps, google drive, images are nowadays our everyday source of information.

But what if Google doesnt exist? No, certainly the world wont come to an end. We have numerous other search engines like Bing, Yahoo etc to have our queries answered. Before gmail gained popularity other emails like Yahoo mail, rediff mail were much used. In place of google drive we have dropbox also performing the same function. As far as google maps are concerned there are other sites too that will guide your location and had google maps not been there we would have seriously got some companies to develop it. The google play store houses all the mobile application, games, books etc. But every android or iphone app has a dedicated link for the app download. We have numerous bloggers and book sites to read and write without any issues.

The dependency on Google is because of its compactness. It is a complete package of all our needs. Thus we find it easy and reliable. Had Google not been there some other company would have developed the same. Even at present all those alternatives being present we eye only for Google. We know no other thing than to search in Google.

Thus in  my personal opinion, life wont be at a complete loss without Google. This being said, is not to belittle the famous company but just to point out that with rapidly and vastly developing internet sites we will never be at loss provided we know what to do and where to do.

I am sorry

The five lettered word "S-O-R-R-Y" literally means you are apologizing for a mistake that u have knowingly or unknowingly done. But it is more easy to say than "Mujhe maaf kar do" .

We say sorry even when we do not accept the fault to be ours. As its so small and simple a word.

When I assign a few task to my subordinates and they return doing half of it , they respond like "Oh I am so sorry I didnt understand the requirement clearly" and then get busy with their mobile phones surfing the social media and posting updates like "tired with too much work pressure". Their sorry made me work an extra hour correcting the things they have left.

A couple of months back we went out for a picnic where the manager of the garden-house which we rented, made some deliberate changes to the food menu and on confronting he made a sad face and said sorry. The sorry made us suffer as we could not eat maximum of the menu items.

That day at a public bus I saw a girl pushing an old lady and afterwards left with just a sorry. Her sorry was not enough for the lady as she felt the pain.

A friend of mine told me how deeply she was hurt when her boyfriend broke up with her without any reason and just saying sorry for the action.

Another friend got her marriage cancelled just because the groom has changed his mind at the last moment and left her with only "sorry" .

Day in and day out we continue to hurt people and get away with a simple "sorry" . Isnt it the best way to escape your wrongdoings?

In the film "Zibdage na Milegi Dobara" Hrithik Roshan told Farhan Akhtar "Jab dil se sorry bologe tab main tumhe maaf karunga". Yes the meaning gets fulfilled only when said from the core of your heart. When you are truly apologetic by your behavior no matter how small or big it is.