Life is all about making choices

I cant let it go. I have tried many a time not to think. But no...its simply not working.. I can still fell the pain. What did I do to deserve this? I was not the cause of your suffering then why.....

These questions kept on hovering Anita's mind as she sat quietly beside the window and kept looking at the sky. There are something in life which happen without a reason and that too when you least expect it.  Such was the case with Anita.

In her not-so-good but all in all okayish life thousands of problems to solve, one sudden problem and that too from a close friend of her made her feel restless.

Everything was okay since morning when suddenly a close friend of her called up. Anita being delighted picked up the phone quickly. But little did she comprehend that her close friend was more in a vindictive mood rather than her usual sweet and soft mood.

Since something has not worked properly in her life Anita's friend found it to be a good solution to call up Anita and let out all her frustrations on her. And Anita being too taken aback didnt find the actual words to fit her reply. Anita's friend was relieved of all her frustrations because Anita didnt treat her in the same way. Little did she realise that by blaming her she has actually ended up the sweet bond between them. At least the relationship has developed a crack if not entirely broken.

Well the readers must be thinking if the friendship is strong then these silly things never matter. But what if when you are struggling in your own life and suddenly someone dumps you with even more problems? What if you cannot retaliate in the same way?

Anita had only two choices. Either to answer her back which in this case she didnt and hence had to  let go off the thoughts which kept on bothering her. There are many things which we have to swallow just because we were unable to answer those people that we are not the root cause of the problems in your life. We always try to extend our hand for help. But what if those people never want your help? They simply want you as a media to release their stress but being sadistic. You will have to just let it go. Because confrontation always doesnt lead to positive results.

Suicides can never be a solution to the problems

Everyday or the other when I go through the newspaper there is atleast 1 case of suicide. Whether a teenage has failed to clear his/her board exams or be it love issues people happily kill themselves because they think that is the end of the world.

Recently a Bengali film was released based on this very idea. The film is named as Hemlock Society. In this film the story involves round a girl named Meghna whose perfect life suddenly collapsed like a pack of cards. She never used to love her father.Her father had remarried after the demise of his first wife and thus the girl refused to stay with them and shifted instead to an apartment with her boyfriend.

Meghna knew her boyfriend for the past 14 years and they were about to get married very shortly. It was just a week before their marriage that Meghna discovered her boyfriend in a music concert , kissing some other girl. Unable to bear that she rushes out alone in the street while her boyfriend came running from behind to provide the meaningless explanations. He finally declares that there was nothing left in their relationship and that they hardly have anything to say to each other.Just like many other not so brave boyfriend he confides that he wanted to tell her these things but somehow he couldnt.

Meghna was shattered. She kept on crying . In a desperation she thought of ending her life. She approached her father who was a doctor and asked to prescribe  some sleeping pills. As she approached the chemist , the hero of the movie saw her and knew that she would soon commit suicide. Back to her apartment Meghna was completly drunk and just as she was about to take those pills when the hero enters and stops her from doing so.. Well like every movie this was expected.

The story takes a different turn when the hero said that he runs an organisation called Hemlock Society where people are trained physically,mentally and technically how to commit suicide. As with most sleeping pills or cutting the wrist may not lead to the death  hence they ensure that every step is carried out with perfection so that the people can die perfectly.

He takes her to the organisation. No matter his style of speaking, attitude and behaviour all lead to Meghna's liking for him.

In the organisation there were different teachers who would teach them various methods of suicide like cutting the wrist, hanging,shooting,jumping in front of train etc. And at the end of every class students would be given an exercise to know each other's plan of committing suicide and trying to find out the flaw in that. It was a total of  3 days workshop.

As the workshop started and teachers started demonstrating the methods , many students fainted, some puked and others shrieked. And after the classes when Meghna went for the exercise and asked other people their reason to commit suicide , she came to know that her problems are far less than most of them.

In one of such exercise she met a retired colonel who said that "Suicide is a crime which one commits to those whom he leaves behind". He just asked her that when u want to look at the rainbow do u need a boyfriend? When u want to go carry out your day to day activities do u need a boyfriend for that? Meghna was angry and answered curtly "NO". To this the man said "I need a person every time to do everything which I want to or I wish to." The man was actually paralysed and was moving in a wheelchair.

At the end of the workshop Meghna decided to change her mind. As she went to say these to the hero , he rebuked her for being whimsical. When Meghna finally said that she loves him he told the truth behind all the stories. He was a millionaire who had been suddenly diagnosed with Blood cancer and would hardly survive a couple of years more. He started a film city and within that he used to run these kind of  "pro life workshop" in disguise of "assisted suicide workshop" .

It is by this workshop people are shown death more closely and are made realised that they are somewhat better than many other persons. He used to flirt around girls so that they again learn to fall in love. The teachers were all paid actors working for his "negative therapy".

Slowly Meghna made her way back to her parents house and started to take problems easily.

The film clearly depicted that suicide was never  solution to any problem and it can never be. It is just that we are consoling ourselves by running away from it. I always used to wonder what if a student has failed in the board exam. Will he not be able to make it the second time. By ending his life and leaving his parents in shock is he doing justice? What if a relationship breaks up? Arent  we matured enough to live the life we want and probably get someone more desiring? What solution will it bring if we end up our lives? Tensions are present everywhere  be it in our home, personal or professional life. But in order to solve them we need to face them . How can we do that if we cease to exist? And what about those whom we are leaving behind?Are we doing justice to them.


Such thoughts can never be made understood by just saying. There only this "negative therapy" comes to play. And since our generation is mostly insecured and constantly needs some kind of appreciation to live or to perform  the "negative therapy" is becoming more a requirement.

Goodbye Vivek

It was midnight. The patient at Ward No 3 was complaining of tremendous pain. The nurse was frightened. She hurried up to call the doctor. The patient was a young man suffering from kidney problems and has been admitted to the hospital after he felt severe pain while giving a presentation in front of the higher management of his company.

The doctor has already diagnosed his condition and after giving him some medicines , he left for the day. The nurse called him over the phone. "Hello Dr Joshi the patient at Ward No 3 is having a tremendous pain..He is literally screaming. I cant control him. Please doctor can you come and check him?" The doctor replied "Ok sister it will take around half and hour for me to reach there.If the pain increases give him an injection. I am coming."

One hour later the boy had to be taken at the operation theatre. 

Next day morning the doctor came to see him at the ICU. 

Doctor:"How are you feeling Vivek?"

Vivek: "Better"

Doctor: "We will keep you under observation for another day and then we can shift you to the General Ward."

Vivek: "Thanks doctor for saving my life."

The doctor smiled."I only did my job. You should thank the girl who gave away her kidney so that you can be saved and unfortunately lost the battle of life herself."

Vivek was stunned."What do you mean?"

The doctor patiently said "I mean exactly what I said. There was a girl admitted few days back due to cancer. She knew she was not going to make it. When I came last night I had to operate you else you wouldnt have been alive. Your family members and the hospital authority were trying every possible things to arrange for a kidney donor. Unfortunately we were not getting any. We needed to operate you immediately so as the time was passing we all were tensed. Fortunately that girl came up and wished to donate her kidney. I was surprised as if she gives away her kidney she might not be alive.Her second kidney was not functioning. She pleaded me to save your life. I dont know if she knows you or not. And must tell you it was the toughest situation of my entire medical career. If I save your life she will die and if not then you will pass away.

And after all the formalities and consent from both your and hers family and doctors I operated you and gave you her kidney. Now you are out of danger but as I said we lost her.

Vivek was shocked. "What is her name?"

The doctor replied "Her name was Neha."

Vivek: "Doctor can I meet her family members?"

Doctor: "I am afraid they have taken their daughter's body for burial."

Vivek's mind kept racing. Was she his ex gf Neha? No no it cant be her. She is in Bangalore.How can she be at Delhi? It must be somebody else.

At that time Vivek's mother came in. "How are you beta?"

Vivek: "I am fine Ma. Who was the girl who saved my life?"

Vivek's Mother: "Yes beta. A messenger of God. She said she was your college friend and since she knew she would die soon she donated her kidney and prayed that your life should be saved first. I dont know why she did this. She would have been alive a few more days had she not donated her kidney. The second kidney was not working.She was not able to walk also. She was on a wheelchair. Such a pretty girl. I feel sorry for her. But she has given you this letter.You take rest I will just have a word with the doctor."

She handed Vivek that letter.

Vivek opened that letter and started reading.

Dear Vivek

 I know by the time you are reading this I am too far away from you. I kept on telling you not to smoke too much but you never listened to me. I hope you are much relieved a person now and have improved a lot in your career as I am not around to fuss or quarrel or do silly things. I admit I was too heartbroken when you left me like that. But love never dies. I didnt tell you that I had cancer.And you left me when I needed your support the most. But I am true to my promise. I didnt leave you. This is the best I can do for you. I hope the operation will save your life.Goodbye Vivek. All the best and take care.

Yours truly

Neha Mathur

Vivek started crying. Neha has taken her revenge for his wrong.She sacrificed her life so that he can be saved.She punished herself instead . And Vivek was too much self centred to know her true worth.

Internet is fun

Things have changed a lot within the last 6-7 years. Initially the mobile phone replaced the regular landline giving people ease to talk to their loved ones whenever and wherever they want. First the mobile was costly and now you can hardly see anyone without it. Then came the mobile camera and after that the much awaited internet.

Now internet is something without which you cant spend a day. Be it your facebook addiction or be it your official purpose or just your daily habit - we are all hooked to the internet. And since the desktop or laptop cant be everywhere the mobile internet has come to its rescue.

I remember few days back I was discussing about a suitable picnic spot with my colleagues. And  no matter whether we know the place or not we searched it in the Google map. Songs,news,facebook they are the all time day to day addiction. You do not have to switch in to the news site somebody must have given any important update on facebook. Wherever they are ,whenever they can people go on using the internet via mobile. The popularity of it is so much that every company, be it product based IT firm or banks etc are now launching mobile applications.

You will receive an alert on your mobile the moment you do any bank transaction. You will be able to check your account status via the mobile banking.

As far as the fun is concerned we have weekly video conferences to which expect the manager the team members are least interested.It goes on on it own and people remain busy tweeting,downloading songs etc by hiding the mobile under the table.During the day when we need some refreshment we switch to you tube and enjoy watching some cool videos. Most of the organisations have restricted internet access but  it doesnt bother us even. As the new generation loves speed the mobile companies are bringing 3G,4G etc. But I guess since the tariff is also high 2G is still in demand. Even though its slow but serves the purpose. And not to forget the android market via which some cool apps like Talking Tom can be downloaded. It is really fun for not only children but also for the grown ups to see the cat talking or doing some fun activities.

Nevertheless mobile internet has become a necessity. Without it the phone feels useless. It came up in the news that 3G tariffs are being cut down by 70%. I was happy to see this.With less tariffs at least many people can afford the 3G or 4G services just like 2G. Mobile internet has proved itself to be a necessity.

First Impression is always the Last Impression

Nikhil always had a problem with his temper. He was good at heart, good at studies but his temper was what created a lot of problems for him. He always took his best friends for granted and used to shout at them at their little mistakes. Slowly slowly his friends tried to avoid him and he could sense a feeling of loneliness. He did not shout at them because he wanted to let them down , he only thought they were his own people and will know how much he values them. But alas people never used to get that hint.

As time passes by Nikhil passed his school and joined college. Though he encountered a lot of people who were even more short tempered than him yet his anger was something everybody thought to be the highest among them. They never used to think that Nikhil did not say anything to intentionally hurt them and always remembered him as an Angry young man.

Time passed by and Nikhil got a job. Despite having a lot of problems in his personal life Nikhil tried to remain his cool. But the world is never short of evils. There were people who tried to bully him , intentionally tried to tease him and even at his slightest reaction would always tried to cool him saying that he has gone angry and is taking things very seriously.  It was not always his fault all the time. But again it was his impression that came in its way. No matter how much Nikhil tried to improve himself  people never remembered his good things. He always felt upset as his intentions were never wrong. As days passed by Nilhil tried to change him, tried to behave good with people but no matter how much he tried his first impression never gave him a chance of making a second impression. Nikhil had to bear everything and always he used to question himself " If I cant get a second chance then what is the use of changing myself. People will hate me as always then what good will it do to control my anger. It might help from making situations worse but I want the situations to be good." And there was nobody who could answer his questions.

Need for self-motivation

I was once roaming at the book fair organized in the office , looking at the books displayed. Books attract me a lot and though I do not get ample time to read  yet I love seeing them, buying them . Needless to say my house is full of books whose pages even have not been turned. Every time I promise myself not to buy any further but I guess  promises are meant to be broken.

In every book fair I always see a section of management books. Specially self motivation books. I keep on thinking why apart from story books or educational, cookery and comic books are these books increasing in numbers. I was most excited to see a black colored nice looking book with a familiar face in it. It was named as "The Best thing about you is You" by Anupam Kher. Yes I have seen the man acting in various films so out of curiosity I began to flip the pages. I found it interesting and bought it finally.

While I was reading it I realized it is about nothing but self motivation. The problems and solutions discussed seemed very similar to my own. Again it left me wonder why is these kind of books gaining importance these days? Most probably the answer could be the increasing pressure on studies, work, competitions, various household problems etc etc.

I once asked my friend "Do you even remember these kind of books to be so abundant when we were at school? Doesnt our elders also faced a lot of problems when they were at our age ? May be the situation were different at that time but the problems existed as always. So how could they overcome those situations?" To these my friend failed to answer.

I would not say the self motivation books are bad. Yet they try to remind you some very basics of life which we tend to forget as days pass. Many of my friends discourage me to buy them saying that every people will write about only his/her experience or his/her practice. "You may find one author has asked you to maintain a journal and note down the things that you should be doing today. Yes it a good practice but do you really get enough time to follow that? Maximum time you rely on your brain to take a note rather than a journal. Similarly how you should react when you are facing problems in your relationship or office or college etc is totally upto you. Do you remember the lines of the books when you are sad and feel like crying? Do you remember anything when you are terribly angry? "

One colleague of mine once suggested that "every body has their own problems. They way you handle it makes the difference. The lines written in the self motivation books are not something which is unknown to you. You either know it already or know better than that. But again to understand those lines you need to experience the situation. Just like you will find people will give you lectures at every field no matter how much they are experienced themselves. For example if you are in a relationship with a person you may find me giving you suggestions and lectures even if I had never experienced any such things in my whole life.Thats human nature. So how do you think I will understand those lines written in the self motivation books when I myself havent experienced any pain? And again if you face pain in that relationship it is solely upto you  how you handle the situation and come out of it. No self motivation books can help you in that."

Likewise opinions differ. Some even says that they act as a guideline mostly after you fail to achieve something. They remind you some basic things , teach you some simple things which helps you  to move on. I once found a close friend of mine who used to always give lectures on various things in life, to be the most weakest person when it came to handling a pain. He always used to google and find out some inspirational quotes and deliver them to me at the end of the day so that it helps me to cope up with the worst situations but he himself was not a follower of them.

Problems always exist in their full forms be it in the past ,present or future, it will never fade away. They might change the form but will never leave until we are alive. With the increasing work pressure,competitions,exams the difficult moments will appear and disappear . Whatever is written in the self motivation books are also written in the interior of the brain. Only we have to recollect them from time to time and have faith in ourselves. Again it is our mistakes only which we call as "experience" and that "experience" teaches us many things which we can never know by merely reading a book.

O Meri Christmas

It was 25th December 00:30 am and little Neha was waiting for her dad to return from the office. She was sure he would bring Santa Claus along with him and thus was very excited. Despite everybody's persuasion she resisted to go to bed and insisted on keeping socks at the door and window just in case Santa passes by and drops anything on them.

Neha's father returned . Neha rushed towards him asking "Dady, dady you have brought the Santa Claus too?" Tired and stressed he took her in his arms and said "No dear Santa refused to come today.You are still awake at this time? So Santa got upset and said he wont come."

To this little Neha started crying. Neha's mother took her to bed. When she returned to the drawing room she scolded her husband "Why did you say this to her?She is only 9 years old . She waited the whole day for Santa Claus. You could have brought something for her instead of those harsh words. Suraj dont throw your frustrations on the little kid. "

Suraj replied " I am sorry Sheetal. But what will I do . My boss gave me so much work I did not get  time to buy a gift for her. I pleaded him that I need to go out its Christmas eve but that man only listens to his boss and not his reportees."
Sheetal said" Ok fine now. Go and change  and then lets have the dinner."

They slept after dinner at around 1:15 am. But little Neha was still awake. She was crying. She could not make out that Santa was upset at her.Slowly she fall  asleep.

An hour or two passed. There was a sound of the calling bell. Neha woke up suddenly. She thought "Its Santa for sure."

She rushed out of the bed , switched on all the lights of the hall and opened the main door. To her utter amazement there stood a man dressed in red clothes, red cap having a big white beard and carrying a fat red rucksack.

Overjoyed with happiness Neha screamed at the top of her voice  " Mom, Daddy , Bhaiya see who have come...Its Santa Claus." Hearing little Neha scream Suraj and Sheetal rushed to the hall.

To their amazement they found little Neha in the arms of a tall,fat man who dressed somewhat like a Santa Claus. Suraj shouted "Who are you and what are you doing at our house.Why have you picked up my daughter. Keep her down or I will call the police."

To this the man put down Neha and said "Relax, relax I am Santa Claus. I have only come here to give you and your family Christmas presents. Here you are " and he gave one big gift to Neha,two medium sized gifts to her parents and little one for Neha's brother who stood behind his parents.

Santa said"May God bless you all and may only happiness prevails in your life. Let all your wishes get fulfilled."

Suraj replied" Not aplicable for me.My boss is a devil. Always with a hunter after me. No matter how much I work he doesnt give me a leave, I cant buy gifts for my daughter, cant spend time with my family. If you are a real Santa please do something about him. That man is simply crazy. "

Santa god puzzled "Wait wait I am not God I am only Santa I..."
Suraj interrupted "Whoever you are please help me..Either get me another job or kill that man or send him to a mental asylum..Choice is yours."

Santa said "haaaaaaa.."

Sheetal interrupted" Hey Santa please do something about his boss. he doesnt give him increment.I cant do shopping properly.I loved a new diamond necklace set at the nearby jewellery shop but couldnt buy it.Again the kids are growing and we need money for their future. Please give him increment so that I can fulfill all my wishes."

Neha's brother Neeraj appeared from behind and whispered in Santa's ear. "Hey Santa my dad's boss's daughter is my classmate.She is damm pretty and damm hot.Please make her my girlfriend...Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee.."

Santa was utterly surprised . He finally said " I think the only problem in all of your life is your boss. But you also have to understand that it is Christmas and we should make merry for what we have and not think about problems. Problems are there in everyone's life.Wish you all a Merry Christmas and not Meri Christmas. Dont worry I will try to fix things whatever possible.Till then have a good night.. Be cool and keep your worries away."

As Santa was making his way towards the door little Neha pulled him and said "Santa I havent said my wish yet why are leaving so early?"

Santa bent down and asked "Yes darling go ahead...You too have a complaint on your dad's boss?"

Neha replied "No I just want my dad to be happy. He is very tired and overstressed these days. His health is deteriorating and mum has to look after everything.She also gets very tired. Please give them rest,peace and happiness. "

Santa smiled "Hmmm....you are a very nice and intelligent girl."

Santa left and Neha waved at him and slowly said"do come again soon with lots of gifts..."

The next morning Suraj was late for his office. Though it was Christmas Day yet he had to go to office. He was afraid his boss is going to kill him.

The moment he entered his boss's room he started apologizing.."Sorry boss I am late today there was huge traffic.I will start working just now ..Dont worry we will make it..."

His boss said "Hey Suraj calm down man...Work can be done slowly ...Between for the past few days you have worked really fantastic..I had a talk with the highemanagement and we have decided to promote you. Congratulations . And since a lot of you leaves are pending its my advice that you should go for a vacation with your family. After you join you can start working.."

Suraj was awestruck.He couldnt believe his ears. What happened to his boss? Santa really did any magic on him? He was clueless.

He walked out of the room. As he made way towards his cabin he asked one of his friends what happened to his boss. His friend replied " Boss lost his  bet and was punished to disguise as a Santa Claus and go to every employees home and give them presents. He did that and today he is changed..Dunno why...Actually I didnt open the door last night and I cant say about others......