New life

After a much waiting I finally got a job in an MNC. At first I didnt let my joy override other things. But the joy turned into a little sadness as I asked to join in Chennai. Again away from my house I had to live. I somehow made up my mind as we cant get everything together. A sacrifice has to be there..So I packed by bags and set out for a new journey..

Chennai is a nice city.. My office ...nicer.. Proudly wearing the office tag I used to go to the office everyday. My roommates are mostly my schoolmates but never my close friends. We stayed together. The past 4 years of hostel life has taught me a  lot of lessons that I needed now. I became more adjusting to everything. My training centre though was different from all of them. It was in the central part of Chennai. Everyday I had to get up at 6 am and get ready for my office. I had to travel a lot,changing trains twice on my way. After so many years of study here comes another academy and lots of exams.. Oh God! When will these things end..Now we are working ..Still an academy? Still exams?? How many more times do we have to prove ourselves??---A question that was asked by every new joinee.

My batch consisted of 30 people.. At first I didnt know any of them except my best friend Arnab and a friend Amrit. Slowly I befriended everyone. There were many a time when I used to feel bad at the others comments. I always had Arnab to guide me. He protected me from all possible dangers. It was as if everyone fresh passout from engineering colleges and a somewhat similar environment prevailed. Nobody felt like working in an mnc.

Slowly I found out a few lobies has been created. There was one group which consisted of 2 girls and 2 boys. We used to laugh at them as the girls never became friends to others. There was another boy involved with one of the girls but everything became complicated....Its always hard to recognize people's character.

There were 5 people from hyderabad.. Though all of them were very good yet there was one girl who was backdated in every respect.  Sometimes it was irritating in the way she used to react to every words. But nevertheless we were friends.

A group of 2 boys and 1 girl..All of them Bengali--quite nice and all of them used to say in the same place.A group consisting of me,arnab and amrit. There was a nepali boy who had a very good sense of humor,and many bengalis..Most remarkable was Mr confucious...Always confused at what being taught.Never used to understand jokes and people never stopped from pulling his leg.

The academy days were really fun. The andhrites and a couple of bengali boy got chennai itself as their deployment location. We felt nostalgic for them as it was as if the whole batch is going to split and we may not be able to see each other again.

We are still waiting for our deployment. In the while many couples has been formed and of course my best friend too likes someone. But with the end of academy I fear his short love story will take an end.Till then its just enjoying the present not considering the future.

Now I dont want to live in Chennai not because I have any problems but because I want to go back to my hometown. But I am sure I will miss Chennai ,miss my roommates,my academy days...

But Chalna hi zindagi hain.........................................I have still a long way to go..

Emotional Fool

This is what people opine about me ---- an Emotional Fool. A person who cares for the little emotions which nobody cares. Actually my world is very little , I have a very few close friends whom I call my God gifted friends. They do for me like no one does,they care for me like no one cares . It was being taught to me not to expect anything from anyone , not to take every word to ur heart, not to care for emotions... But my question is are these criteria s fit in the case of closed ones too?? Aren't they suppose to know u better than everyone around u? Is it a crime to  speak out to them if anything u didnt like? If it is then whom to call closed ones? If not then y is that they dont take it the way u feel? Why is it that someone's feelings are never understood? Why is it someone is always wrong in saying something?


Probably the only answer is that "This is life". U may be too lucky to have people to understand evry bit of ur emotion or too less fortunate  not to get anyone..Everyone says its all becoz u think so much , u take every word to heart...How does it matter to u ? Why are u being an emotional fool? Emotional fool....To live u have to make sure that u care for evryone's  but also be sure that no one cares for u. Be careful to what to say but dont be harsh or rude if u r angry(this applies in the case of ur loved ones too.as loved ones are very easily hurt and many a times never understand what made u say like that).


If the life involves in an IT sector then simply dont give a dam to anything anyone says. Sometimes I do wonder is it a crime to be an extrovert? Once a friend of mine claimed that by being just a  friend he knows everything about me just becoz i am an extrovert...But I kept on thinking have I done anything wrong so that I need to hide it from people? Many think it to be "not that good".But where is the fault ???


Actually these things are taught in numerous management books,television programs etc. But in a world where even ur loved ones dont care for u  u cant afford to be an Emotional fool..

Looking back at 2010

Time flies by... It was as if a few days back when we welcomed 2010 bidding adieu to 2009. Now its hard to think that indeed another 365 days have been .. The year started with a holiday---the end of semester holidays. My last semester  was about to start and the 4 years long college life was about to end.

We had our last sem classes,hostel fun,fests,parties and then the exams...The first few months just ran by. I suddenly realised that I am gonna miss a huge part of what I am leaving behind.I came here with nothing but going out with a bagfull of memories. Indeed bidding adieu is painful. The hostel days,the friends,the college building ...I owe a lot to each of them.

The next few months went in tension about what to do next,to search for a good job. Again back to studies,back to books,interviews,disappointments and lots more. Even the festivals were not welcomed whole heartedly due to these things.

Ultimately bagging up a good job but alas! had to leave my hometown for a place completly unknown. I ventured into a new life different from the pasts yet my experience helped me a lot. There were many a times when I have thought of going back to my previous life but that is not possible..The new life has given me new roles and responsibilities, new challenges and again  have asked me to fight.

And the year thus ended... Another year started.. Sometimes I like to stay back alone and remember my old days,sometimes I like to live a life of solitude ..sometimes my mind says "give me rest"...but no...I have to keep on fighting,,keep on walking...no time for looking back...And I am sure one day I will have success.

Somebody once asked me "what do you want to achieve in life? u have completed ur studies,job and now family life is left..being a girl what else can u ask for?" I want to reply "When I will be 80 years old I want to look back at my life and smile saying that yes I have achieved whatever I wanted. I have lead my life on my own way.I have seen the life

A new life-- a new beginning

I am too excited to write my blog after so many days. And not a bad day to start at all. Its 1st Jan 2011. What can be better than a new year's  1st day to write about my new life?? Certainly better. My success in getting job has been posted I guess in my last blog. Now about my new Corporate life, about Chennai --- too long story it would be. Though I am a new comer still yet so much things have happened or is happening that its hard to put every bit of feelings in words. About Chennai definitely I would say a complete new environment. Born and brought up in North India, find a lil difficulty in the southern parts.Thats why the news of getting posted to chennai came as a shock to me before.

But what makes me amazing is that when I look into the scenery I find it same as my  own birth place...So I proudly say this is INDIA. No matter wherever we go whatever may be our language ,however may we dress we all share the same thought,same belief  more or less the same food habbit  etc etc.....

My job life is good. Satisfied to get into a good company, but yes I miss my college days. There is a big partition between these 2 lives and its hard to realise and get upto it. Now is the time for responsibility. I should be responsible for anything I do. So even if I dont like anyone I have to stay mum as "Friends and No friends" is the key policy here.

I have not entered the corporate culture fully but yes I am getting the heat. I know it would be tougher if I dont work on these things from now onwards but kya kare.......Somethings are hard to change.

Now I blog on my office portal also. Infact I am the blogging lead of my training batch. But yes cant write personal things on it.So.....

Now many old things also have started taking a different turn.The old relations are changed now. The long closest friends are all very far away,everyone busy with their own life and the contacts become less. Its not intentional,its just the reation to the situation. I sometimes wish I go back to my past life ---not possible I know.

But "This too shall pass"... I have to go a long way,I cant stop ..only keep walking....:)

No pain no gain

It was a bright Saturday morning. I was surfing the internet checking my mails in the hope pf getting my joining letter. Well the letter did not arrive but a mail arrived which told me that my blog is being neglected.True. I havent been writing since a month.

In one of my blogs I told about my failures and struggle in getting a job.But when that struggle ended on a happy note I hardly found any topic on which I can write. It is easier to write about failures,struggles but its too difficult to write about success. I kinda think bagging a job might look too tough when I am fighting but once I get it its not worth mentioning,as its not any kinda big achievement.So my blogsite didnt have any particular post based on my success.

Few days back I was reading the Times of India where Mr Amitabh Bacchaan said in order to get success u will have to get the pain..No pain no gain. The words are so true..When I was getting rejection from the jobs every relatives of mine were asking me "what do u do now?you have completed your course right?have you got a job?" No matter how many times do I tell them the questions got repeated. And when I did get a job nobody was there to ask.I didnot want to disclose it though as I dont feel like boasting myself. My parents disclosed it to them but I got a lil congratulations.Well maybe thats life. People find it to be fun to tease someone till the time you dont have the proper answer to give them. But when u have that their grin replaces a fake smile. But I am thankful to all of them as it is by pain only you understand the value of something.

I cried,spent sleepless nights,became tensed,worked hard only to get a job. I said to myself" I will answer them the day I bag it.". But no! I didnot do that. I let them go. I forgive them.Some of my friends were also in the lists. I remember a friend of mine calling me every alternate 3 hours on the day of my interview just to know how I fared. At last when I answered his call I was too tired by the whole day's work and tension. He was amused with my voice tone and laughingly asked "What happened?" I answered "I am selected." The laugh stopped. He replied " Wow great. What did the interviewer asked you?How did you answer......"He hung up. Next again he called twice to get the other details..I became annoyed. Prior to the interview everyone was asking me "how is your preparation going?" And after the job it was "Have you got ur joining letter?"Ufffff....questions never end...

But as I said they are not be blamed. They are still in the same phase which I have passed now.
They are feeling the same pain as I was feeling.

You dont get success..you earn it..U earn it by dint of ur ability,hard work and sufferings.
U have to feel the pain in order to get the success.But ALLZ WELL THAT ENDS WELL.

Phonography

I never mastered the art of photography on a manual camera. No matter how much I tried the pics always used be defective. Well the modern technology helped me out. I bought my new mobile phone with a 2 megapixel camera, when I was in my 1st yr at college. I kept on clicking images of my friends at every occasion. Not necessarily occasion but also the very natural pic of day to day life. I remember everyone used to get angry initially at my habbit but later on they used to laugh seeing them. I have clicked more than 1000 photos with my single,small,slim mobile phone courtesy its extremely good camera lense.I love my mobile just because of this thing. From then onwards I became a good photographer as I could click images of anything I like. I took my little mobile to various puja pandal and could capture the minute details of the decorations made.More than anything I treasure the pictures of my hostel life. Starting from my 1st yr till 4th yr I have pics of every occasion be it a lazy classroom,fests,picnics,pujas,treats,outings,exams whatever I have them all. I relive my past moments once I see them.

Probably that is what new technology gives us.No longer do we need to carry cameras at places. We can take our pic anywhere anytime at any angle,any mode and of course at the required level of lense adjustments.I thank the technology as the mobile phone is no longer just a phone it is much more than that.With the inbuilt web technologies we can transfer pictures to our dear ones or even upload them at web.And all this services available at a cheaper price.

Now I am a photographer rather a phonographer..:)

Alive Dead

The title might sound something horrifying but I assure its nothing of that type. Let me ask everyone a question. Have you ever thought what is the thing in this world which is as much dead as it is alive? we encounter it almost everyday. If not everyday then at least once in a month.Something which is as much living as as it is non living??

The tall office buildings of cities which remain crowded with people during the daytime are as silent as the dead at night.With deserted streets,dark rooms they are just like haunted houses.They are again back to life in the next morning.Well the office buildings will continue to be offices for years to come until and unless they become too weak to be demolished.

What about the historical monuments...The forts,palaces which ones have been the abode of the royals---now a mere tourist spot??

Few months back I had been to Rajasthan. Apart from places like Jaipur,Amer,Chittor I liked Udaipur the best...Because of its marvelous palace. The Udaipur Palace,which bears the history of so many kings and queens right from the Mughal rule till the British and then an Independent India--now is a deserted one which only entertain tourists. I also watched the Light and Sound in the evening which recited the entire story right from Rana Uday Singh,the sacrifices of Panna Dhai by allowing her own son to be killed just to save the future monarch, The Mughal attack,the Johar of Rani Padmavati,the battle of Haldighati and many more.But as the show ended and everybody left I looked back at the vast palace. It had lights but they were nothing as compared to the ones that used to illuminate its courtyard before. The wall where the Elephant fight used to take place has now been reduced to just a simple wall.The palace ground is no longer protected by senas ,the place which housed the animals has been changed to ticket counters.

Though much populated in the morning the Udaipur palace is as dead at night. The generations have passed,people has changed, the rule of monarchy has given its way to democracy yet the palace continues to live its time,the time when it was built.But at night it seems the palace cries on its own as it is now equivalent to a haunted house, the only remains of the kings,the sole symbol of its past.It is as if all the royals have left it alone to face the future India and endowed it with a responsibility to tell the stories of their achievements,culture,architecture,lifestyle.

The long courtyards where all the family members of the royals used to roam is now dark.The lanterns,the magnificent lights no longer glow at night.There are no distinction now between the rooms of the kings and queens.If something is left behind is only memories and some inanimate objects like chairs,tables,dresses etc.

And like the Udaipur palace many other historical forts and palaces have the same story.With the passage of time their roles changes too.Once providing shelter and protection to the royals they now entertain tourists and lead the life of the dead at night.They are then left alone to recollect their past,their glory,their pride.