A life full of regrets

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 It was a bright sunny morning. Anjali woke up suddenly after having a bad dream.She sat on the bed and slowly realised she was dreaming. And a couple of days later she is getting married . Slowly she got up and went in front of her window. The Sun was shining brightly and the birds were chirping. It was a beautiful morning. Anjali thought to herself "I dont know what I am doing and why ." She was getting married to a doctor settled in New York. She never wanted to get married to a high profile guy. She wanted a simple, loving and caring husband who can understand her and love her more than anybody else in this world. But call it destiny or anything she was hurt beyond she could tolerate.
Anjali started thinking of her dreams. Suddenly her whole past became alive in front of her eyes. "It was as if yesterday that I was in college. I was happy to have such a nice friend as Piyush. He was the one who made me strive the difficult situations. Without him I wouldnt have been able to figure out the right direction. I slowly liked him and then fell in love . We got engaged and  our world changed. I was never as happy before. I always took the pride that I have selected the most right guy for me. I never wanted too much from him. Everything was going fine . The college ended and a new life started. We started doing jobs. Piyush being an intelligent boy was offered a job with a very high pay package. He shifted to Bangalore and I was in Mumbai. We started talking on the phone. Piyush had a tremendous work pressure. And being a meritorious student his family wanted him to study more. Slowly the pressure from his family and that from the work soon showed in our relationship too. We started quarrelling almost everyday. I dont remember how many sleepless nights I have passed crying for him. One day he told me he was going to US for doing masters.I was happy for him. I tried to calculate the time after how many years will his studies end and we could get married. Slowly time passed by and his time to go to US came closer. He came to Mumbai to meet me for the last time. We had a gala time then. We went to movies,to shopping malls,to parks. He promised me that he will return within 2 years . He knew that I am too much sensitive and hence warned me in advance that it might take some time for him to settle in US. Once he is done we could do video chatting on the internet.  I believed him blindly. He left in the next month. I waited for his mails,calls. I wrote to him several times. But no reply came. I thought may be he is too busy right now. Another month passed by. I got no reply from him. I started worrying. He used to tell me that he will never contact any of his friend once he leaves for US. I used to think that he is saying this in anger. I never wanted it to become true. As more days passed by I started thinking that those words were indeed true. He meant them completely.

I chatted with other friends over the net and asked them if they have any news of him. Nobody knew.I kept consoling myself that I must be thinking too much. Then one day my roommate called me and said she had chatted with him on facebook. I was shocked. Why the hell he didnt reply to my mails when he got the internet? Was my roomie more important than me? I asked her to inform me the next time she chats with him. They again chatted in the next month. My roommate sent  me the chat and this time I could not control my tears. I knew everything was over. I felt betrayed. How could he do this to me? He could have told me that he wants to break up. Why did he give me false assurance? From that day onwards things were never same as before. I changed completely. I did not hang out with friends. I did not contact them. I was not very regular on facebook. Whenever I came online I used to check his profile. Everyday in the morning I used to check my gmail with a slightest hope that he might reply to me. Years passed by but not a single reply has come. My parents wanted me to get married. And they chose a groom for me. The boy is nice. He is doctor in US. He was different than Piyush. Quiet handsome,smart  and well mannered. But I could not forget Piyush. He was my first love. a man whom I have loved and trusted more than myself and who did not think for a second time before betraying me."

By thinking this tears rolled down from Anjali's face. Her marriage was a compromise. She  is getting married only because of her parents. She is not sure if she could love her husband just like Piyush. Anjali slowly turned  away from the window and went to the Puja ghar. She folded hands in front of the GOD and asked "I once thought I am the luckiest person in this world who have made no mistake in selecting her life partner. I now regret the day I befriended him. I now regret that I fell for him. But what was my mistake that you punished me like this?"
As Anjali was saying this to her GOD her mother came and saw her daughter crying ."What happened beta?Why are you standing here at this time?Is everything ok?" Anjali said "Yes Ma" and left.

The day of her marriage arrived. As Anjali was getting ready  she remembered Piyush's words. How he said he would love to see her in bridal dress. As she wore her necklace she thought how Piyush once said that she would look beautiful in that jewellery. She did look gorgeous. But there was no Piyush to appreciate that. All her friends arrived at her wedding but Piyush was missing. With a heavy heart and a compromising attitude towards life Anjali slowly walked to the Mandap thinking of her past dreams which were shattered by the brutal blows of reality.

I once saw a picture where Hema Malini insults Amitabh Bacchan saying that he doesnt have a heart. Amit ji replied "Have you ever heard of any woman dying of heart attack without a few exceptions? We men mostly die of heart attacks because we have hearts." Even Chetan Bhagat's all time best selling novels depicts the fact that a girl plays with a boy's emotion and then she leaves him. But when a heart is broken the pain felt is same in case of the girl as it is in case of the guy. The pain of backstabbing is the same for both the genders and it will last for the lifetime no matter how much life gives you happiness.