7 things you should follow in order to lead a happy life

Life is short. Live it simple.

As we deal with numerous stresses in our lives starting from the simple to the complex ones, dont we often forget to listen to ourselves? What we want? How we want to live?  Its true life will never be like the way we ling for. But its worth living. In order to be happy we have to listen to ourselves not others.

Happiness comes from within. I have listed few of my personal observations from a lil of my experienced life.

Please feel free to comment your views.

1. Let go the friendship you struggled to keep

There are few people in our lives whom we consider to be a true friend and too precious to lose. However the sad part is many a times they do not reciprocate the same, which leaves us hurt, sulky. No matter how much we forgive their faults and irrational behaviour, they do not think twice if we do the same as them.

Let go those friends. Remember your friendship is too precious for people who dont love you back. Let them be happy in their own life and you move forward with new set of friends. No relationship is worth if it takes only you to do all the struggles.

2. Be self confident

This is the most important thing in your life. People envy those who are self confident. No matter whether you are fat, slim, beautiful,ugly dont give a damm. Nobody can play your role as you can. So stop bothering about anything. Hold your head high and say " Hum kisise kam nehi."

3. Dont let others to affect your mood

This is perhaps the most common thing which we experience day to day. If somebody says something rude to us we get upset. Anything negative by any people around us be it friends, family, colleagues, we end up feeling gloomy,hurt, disappointed,tensed, anxious---the list is never ending. 

You decide how you should behave. Dont let them spoil your mood. You are your best judge. Have faith on yourself.

4. Always keep a filter in your ears

You will always find numerous people always bitching against others. There will be people as well giving you lost of gyans as to how you should behave. Remember to listen to them but filter the words that you want to hear. Do not believe everything you hear, do not follow everything either.

5. Learn to be firm 

To be happy you do sometimes have to be firm and stick to your decision. People abide by them who are more logical and firm rather than those who cant say "no" to the others. Yes, you may not be liked by all but thats definitely not possible . 

6. Expect  less, depend less

I always remembered a friend of mine saying "kabhi kisise kuch expect mat karna" . I believe it till date. I used to depend only on  myself when I needed to go out of my college hostel to buy few things, I depend on myself if I have to eat alone in the cafeteria at the lunch break in office. I have seen people who are extremely dependant on the others and as a result most of the time their work doesnt happen. They wished to be like me, but never had the courage to be so.

7. Do what your heart wishes

Perhaps another most significant thing. Want to buy a nice dress or an expensive watch? Want to eat out ? Want to go holidaying with friends and family? Want to be left alone? Want to write your heart out? Want to shut up those people who irritates you? Want to sing,dance and be crazy? Go ahead, there is nothing stopping you. Dont hold regrets. Thats bad.

Life without Google

This post is written in correspond to Indispire topic.

There is a saying "if you dont do your work , somebody else will."

We do almost all our searchings starting from minute things to very important things in Google. You mane it Google baba has it. Definitely google with its immense products are making our lives very simpler. Not only search engine, the mails, maps, google drive, images are nowadays our everyday source of information.

But what if Google doesnt exist? No, certainly the world wont come to an end. We have numerous other search engines like Bing, Yahoo etc to have our queries answered. Before gmail gained popularity other emails like Yahoo mail, rediff mail were much used. In place of google drive we have dropbox also performing the same function. As far as google maps are concerned there are other sites too that will guide your location and had google maps not been there we would have seriously got some companies to develop it. The google play store houses all the mobile application, games, books etc. But every android or iphone app has a dedicated link for the app download. We have numerous bloggers and book sites to read and write without any issues.

The dependency on Google is because of its compactness. It is a complete package of all our needs. Thus we find it easy and reliable. Had Google not been there some other company would have developed the same. Even at present all those alternatives being present we eye only for Google. We know no other thing than to search in Google.

Thus in  my personal opinion, life wont be at a complete loss without Google. This being said, is not to belittle the famous company but just to point out that with rapidly and vastly developing internet sites we will never be at loss provided we know what to do and where to do.

I am sorry

The five lettered word "S-O-R-R-Y" literally means you are apologizing for a mistake that u have knowingly or unknowingly done. But it is more easy to say than "Mujhe maaf kar do" .

We say sorry even when we do not accept the fault to be ours. As its so small and simple a word.

When I assign a few task to my subordinates and they return doing half of it , they respond like "Oh I am so sorry I didnt understand the requirement clearly" and then get busy with their mobile phones surfing the social media and posting updates like "tired with too much work pressure". Their sorry made me work an extra hour correcting the things they have left.

A couple of months back we went out for a picnic where the manager of the garden-house which we rented, made some deliberate changes to the food menu and on confronting he made a sad face and said sorry. The sorry made us suffer as we could not eat maximum of the menu items.

That day at a public bus I saw a girl pushing an old lady and afterwards left with just a sorry. Her sorry was not enough for the lady as she felt the pain.

A friend of mine told me how deeply she was hurt when her boyfriend broke up with her without any reason and just saying sorry for the action.

Another friend got her marriage cancelled just because the groom has changed his mind at the last moment and left her with only "sorry" .

Day in and day out we continue to hurt people and get away with a simple "sorry" . Isnt it the best way to escape your wrongdoings?

In the film "Zibdage na Milegi Dobara" Hrithik Roshan told Farhan Akhtar "Jab dil se sorry bologe tab main tumhe maaf karunga". Yes the meaning gets fulfilled only when said from the core of your heart. When you are truly apologetic by your behavior no matter how small or big it is.

10 things to do before I die

I really have to scratch my head as to think what are the 10 things I would like to accomplish before I die. Well to be a lil philosophical life is full of uncertainties as to what future will bring. The ball of life will roll and move to different places and situations and with time the needs and wishes will also differ.

1. Fulfil all the duties towards my family
 Now this is quite inevitable is it not. When we receive so much love and support from our family it our duty to return the same. Well I am trying to sound practical not boring.

2. Visit as much places as I can

Well I love travelling and love to explore new places. So before I die I want to make sure I have not missed out the eternal beauties of this world.


3. Hang around with as many friends to make every moment special

Friends make your life worth living. As we all get busy in our day to day chores we often lose contacts with our friends. But with them around every journey seems fun, every party seems memorable. All I want is a long list of friends with whom I can enjoy the moments.

4. To taste as much delicacies as I can

Well I am a great foodie and food is my second love. I thus want to taste as much different dishes as possibles. I dont worry about the calories as long as it is tasty and yummy.

5. To be able to cook very very well

As I said I am a foodie , well I am that good at cooking as I am in eating. Hence it was MUST in my list that I should try my hands out and not only that I should try to excel in this matter. Trust me, there is a lot of joy when people praise of your cooking and love your food so much that their plate is almost clean.

6. To read as much as possible

As the saying goes that a book is a man's best friend and most devoted also , I am an ardent reader and thus would like to gather as many unknown facts and knowledge I can till I leave. Knowledge makes you grow, builds your personality, makes you wiser. I am always attracted to knowledgeable people and thus have a wish to feature in the same list.

7. To become a motivational speaker

We all need motivation in our life dont we. I am not talking about gyans and lectures which people offer in the name of motivation. You ask anybody be it your neighbour or your co workers , everybody can you a full fledged gyan irrespective of their practical experience. At least they have their relatives of friends of friends who have experienced situations like you.

I want to be a real motivational speaker who can at least help others to overcome their problems and help them grow. We dont have time to experience every problems in this world but there are few basic things which we need to focus constantly. There are people whose speakings are interesting enough to listen and motivating enough to shake your core.

8. To climb up as many steps I can in my professional life

Now this is something which is every man/woman's dream. Who said I am an exception? We all love to be important. Yes, with positions comes greater responsibility but definitely it helps us prove our worth, our capabilities. At least after I retire I can look back and say I have done my best.

9. To meet my favourite personalities

The list is long. I would like to each of them and talk about their life, their struggles, their success and failures.

10. To enjoy life in my own style

As everyone says we are busy planning for tomorrow but tomorrow is most unpredictable. You never know whether "Kal ho na Ho" . So I want to live every moment, laugh loudly and never do I want to regret anything. Yes, life will be tough but we can make it worth living.

To conclude I must say the above are merely my wish list. They might get changed due to situation but yes the no 10 will remain thee same.

As rightly said by Rajesh Khanna to Amitabh Bachhan in his film "Anand" "Babumoshai, jab tak zinda hu tab tak mara nehi, jab mar gaya tab saala main hi nehi."

Do you believe in miracles?

"Do you believe that miracles do happen?" asked one of my junior as we were having lunch together. I replied " I do." "Well, what makes you say so?" To that my mind drifted 2 years back on a lazy Sunday when I was asked by the Passport office to report due to some inconvenience in the submitted data. Those were the days when the online application was not in use and we have to manually submit all the details to the passport office. As my last address was mentioned that of my college hostel the police did not verify it when they found that I have passed out and is not residing there currently. Hence I was called at the Passport office.

I remember to be in very poor health that day and was almost unwilling to go. My father was furious at me and hence after a lot of scoldings I had to give in and all the time asking my mental strength to offer me some help. As the car neared the office , we got down near a church as there were no proper parking lot. I must admit I am quite fond of churches since childhood. I requested dad to stay outside for 5 mins while I pay a visit to God's home. As I entered I was given a Bible and a paper saying that there are school children present and they will be singing the lines mentioned in the paper. I refused them saying that I am here to pay a quick visit.

As I sat in the benches and looked at the cross my mind started to calm down. Till that time I was in extreme pain and anxiety but slowly my mind became very cool as if there are no pain in this world. I stayed there for more than 5 mins thinking that dad will again be angry. But somehow I didnt feel like going. Eventually I did and the rest of the process happened peacefully. I could stand in the queue for long, went up to the passport officer and had a discussion on what are the corrections needed to be done. There was little I could do to the old application and had to apply a fresh one next year.

I still remember that day as something unusual that happened in that church. I was in such a condition that I could hardly stand in the queue for an hour but the way things disappeared  made me an ardent believer of God. It was as if God's own hand has come to ease all my sufferings.

Another instance I would like to mention is that in college days I was short of true friends. People were selfish, ego centric etc etc . I prayed to God so that I can befriend all of them and become their good friends but God answered in a different way. I got a close friend in the form of an old school friend with whom I never talked while in school. It was through Orkut and Google talk that we started talking to each other. He was by my side at every ups and downs. He became my best friend. Our friendship lasted till I was posted in Chennai during my in job training days. Once I got posted back to my native, slowly slowly the relationship got sour and he left without any reason.

Sometime later I read an article saying that some people come to your life for a reason. They remain till the time they are needed and then without any fault from your side, they leave you. Its God's way of answering your prayers. When their work is done , they leave . To this I remember the lines of Irfan Khan in than movie "Life of Pi" . The tiger was his only friend and reason to be alive in those grave situations, The moment he reached a safe land the tiger left him.

We do feel the pain when someone so dear leaves us but again I cant but thank the Almighty in His wonderful ways of answering our prayers and constantly looking that we get our through the rough patches in our lives.

Its about our culture

"I dont want my children to be brought up in western culture. I will be back from US once they turn 2 as I want them to be fully Indian not western" said Neeta as we were discussing about her plans of going abroad. I replied "You remind me of Kajol in Kabhi khushi kabhi gham - the way she said "Kash khala aaj hum India mein hote aur mera beta bhi wohi gaane sikhta jise sikh kar main bari hui hu"" and we burst out laughing.

There are many people like Neeta who believe that the Indian culture like respecting your elders, touching their feet etc all matters as a human being. The culture which we Indians boast about is our love and respect for family and friends. Definitely we wont like our children to roam around like a vagabond, smoking , drinking openly, taking drugs abusing people. One might say that it is dependant on the environment they are mixing but again the basic sense of discipline, respect, love comes from the culture they will be brought up in as the word goes "Education begins at home."


Recently the video on India's daughter has been the talk of every social media. To that my opinion is our culture is not where the women are belittled , instead it is about the respect of a woman. We should not restrict our thoughts and ideas to old days and say women are made to do household chores only and boast it as our culture. Indian culture is all about loving and respecting your family and friends. Modernity should be in our thoughts and that should be constructive not destructive. 

Nameplate

Sometime back I asked a friend who was going to be married whether she is going to change her surname or not. To that she replied "Why should I? Am I a nameplate? U take your father's surname and people call you to be his daughter. Then you take your husband's surname and people call you his wife. Then you have a son and people call you his mother. In all this process where is the "I" - why cant I be known by my name? Does it matter if I want to keep my father's surname  or simply dont keep a surname at all? To all of you out here will you think I am a different person if I change my surname? I guess no. I like to be what I am. To the world I would like to be known by my own identity not with that of someone else's."

I asked the same question to another girl. She replied "Well, I might change my surname in social networking sites. It looks different. But please dont ask me to change in the official docs. I will get screwed. I dont have patience to go through the laborious process of changing it in passport, pan card etc etc."

I asked the same thing to few guys . Some of them replied "its her life, I will let her decide. She will be mine thats what matters. Surname doesnt". Some agreed that changing surname in official docs is quite painful.

There are lots of views about a surname change. As it is happening from age old days people cant quite accept it properly at least the elders in the family. To them it is being more modern than is needed.

 I remember a senior of mine once pointed out that there is no law which states that the girl should change her surname. It is being done since ages when women were not considered to be any significant one of the society. They would always have to be associated with a male member's identity be it her father,husband or son. Her life was nothing but a nameplate. But now the days have changed. We should allow a woman to take the final call as to what she want herself to be introduced as. Be it working or non working all woman should have the right to decide her identity. And the society should show respect to her decision.